Among the Echoes (Wrecked and Ruined #2.5)(34)

"Did you know?" I ask, storming into Dave’s room. He’s asleep, but after the night I’ve had, he’s going to have to wake the f*ck up. "Did you f*cking know?" I scream at the top of my lungs as he flies out of bed.

"Know what? Jesus, are you all right?" he asks, trying to scrub the sleep from his eyes.

"That I was dating a God damn celebrity!" I yell again, but it catches in my throat.

"Fuck." He sighs.

"Oh, God! You knew." The threatening tears spill over my eyes.

"Yeah, I knew," he admits.

"Wonderful. You encouraged me to put our lives at risk. Both of us could be exposed at any minute and you encouraged me to do it. What the f*ck were you thinking?"

"I was thinking he made you smile and you weren’t afraid of it. You acted like a woman instead of a piece of glass so shattered it would never be able to be pieced back together. So yeah, I took a chance and pushed you towards him. I have watched you smile more over the last week than I have seen in the three years we have been forced together. You acted like a normal person for seven full days, and it was the best moments of my entire f*cking life to watch you do it."

"That’s bullshit. This is not f*cking fair! You shouldn’t have kept something that big from me. All it would take is one f*cking picture and we would both be dead." I stomp my foot in frustration. "When the hell do I get to make some decisions about my own life? You don’t always get to decide what’s best for me, damn it!"

"Well, you need someone to do it!" he growls, sitting back down on the corner of his bed. "You’re doing a shit job at managing all of this. I’ve been stressing since we got word of this move about what to do with you. You’ve regressed back to those first few months after the trial. Then, all of a sudden, Slate f*cking Andrews walked into your life and something changed. It’s like you came alive in a way I have never seen before. So yeah, I pushed you towards him. I also stayed close and had the big boys send in a detail to keep an eye on things while you were with him. You know I would have pulled you out if I thought you were in any danger whatsoever."

"You *! That isn’t your call! You threw me into an impossible situation. You know better than anyone that he is not a chance we can afford to take. Say what you want. Your heart may have been in the right place, but you put us both in danger. We can’t trust a man like that!"

"Slate Andrews is the only man I would have ever trusted you with. He’s the God damn patron saint of abused women." He lets out a string of curse words and runs a hand through his hair. "I’m sorry, Riley, but you needed someone."

"What?" I ask, completely confused.

"You can’t do this all alone."

"No! I mean the abused part."

"Look him up, babe. He spends millions of dollars every year advocating for women. He privately funds three rehabilitation programs and a safe house for women who have been victimized by physical or sexual abuse. Riley, Slate himself is the product of a rape."

"No," I gasp, throwing my hands to my mouth.

I think back on when he told me I reminded him of his mother, and it makes my stomach turn at how right he really was. I can’t even imagine how it would have felt to relive my past every day in the eyes of an innocent child. And for him to know that about how he was created makes my heart break for him too. I can only imagine how he grew up feeling.

For the briefest of moments, I find a feeling of hope swelling in my chest. Maybe he really could understand bits and pieces of my life if I were allowed to open up to him. But then again, that can never happen.

"Shut up. I don’t want to hear this."

But Dave continues. "So yeah, I threw you at him. And he took to you—hook, line, and sinker. And before your mind goes there, that had nothing to do with your past, because he has no f*cking idea about what happened to you."

"Shut up!" I scream. "Shut up. I don’t want to hear any of it. I don’t care who he is. The only thing that matters is I can’t be with him...ever." I sway as anger wages war with the longing I have for Adam.

"I love you," Dave says for the first time—ever. It startles me, and I jerk my eyes up to his. "Riley, I need you to be happy more that I need blood in my veins. I need redemption. I saw the way you looked at him and…" He drops his head into his hands.

My anger is quickly replaced by sadness. Dave may not have the physical scars I do, but I’m not the only one of us who was shredded by that night. He’s given his life up too. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to remember that.

"I love you too. Thank you for looking out for me, but from here on out, I relieve you of your duty. You can’t live my life and you sure as hell can’t force me into the arms of a man just because you deem him worthy. I should get a say in this. As much as I like Adam-slash-Slate, I wish I could go back to before I met him."

He smirks over at me before announcing, "I will continue to set you up with as many good guys as I can find. The good news for you is they are few and far between. Slate was kind of the jackpot. It’s all downhill from here."

He’s right. Slate really was the jackpot.

"I felt safe with him," I admit not only to Dave, but to myself as well.

"I know, babe. And for what it’s worth, I think we could make things work. It’s completely a risk, but you say the word and we’ll figure a way for you two to be together."