All of Me (Inside Out #5.5)(15)

“What? I thought we weren’t leaving until closer to Thanksgiving.”

“Now we are.”

My brow furrows. The expedited trip and the exchange with Rey in French has me worried I’ve missed something. “Did Tristan threaten us before he left?”

“No. Tristan didn’t threaten us.”

“Then why are we leaving so fast?”

“Because you never taunt a wounded animal.”

I study him, my belly knotting with worry—and not for Tristan or Chantal this time. “You want distance between you and Isabel’s whip.”

“Baby, if I see Isabel, she’s the only one getting whipped.” He cups my head. “I’m fine. I’ll tell you if I’m not. But as much as I love this city, it’s emotional poison to me right now, the way I am to Tristan. Everyone can use some space.”

My hand goes to his wrist. “What happened to ‘what you don’t deal with now, you have to deal with later’?”

“We handled what we needed to handle. This is no different than any newly mended wound. You don’t go pouring salt in it and expect it to finish healing.” His thumb strokes my cheek. “Let’s give Tristan time and space. And let’s give us a break from everything but us.”

He turns me toward the stairs, leaning in near my ear. “And don’t worry about packing a lot of clothes. You won’t need them much.”

I twist around to face him again. “Are you sure?”

He steps closer, his hand settling at my waist. “I meant what I said to Tristan, Sara. You pulled me out of hell. I’m not trying to climb back in.”

I rise to my toes and press my lips to his, letting them linger there. Chris flattens his hand on the back of my head, holding me there, his breath mingling with mine, and I feel his shifting desire, the dark part of him he’s suppressing. He kisses me, a deep slide of his tongue, followed by another, before he turns me back to the stairs.

“Go pack.”

And this time I do as ordered.





      Part Five



   The Gift





After Chris returns from his talk with Rey, we finish packing. Within fifteen minutes, we’re on the road, nestled in the warm 911 for the hour-and-a-half drive. We clear the city and hit straight highway miles. Chris isn’t quick to make conversation, but we don’t need conversation. We are as safe inside the silence as we are outside it, which says the world to me about our relationship, considering I find empty space with anyone else uncomfortable.

About thirty minutes into our travels, Chris connects his iPhone to the Porsche’s radio, and I wait anxiously to hear what song he’ll play, certain it’s a look into his mind, and the beginning of what will become inspiration to paint a blank canvas. A Seether album is his choice, and the slow, dark rock tune named “The Gift” his selection. It’s been so long since I’ve heard it that I don’t remember the words. Lowering my seat back, I pull my jacket over me, listening intently to the words, envisioning the controlled motions of Chris’s brush and wondering what he will paint.

I’m so afraid of the gift you give me. I don’t belong here and I’m not well. I’m so ashamed of the lie I’m living.

The line about living a lie hits me hard. I sit up and lower the volume before rolling back to my side to face him. “You weren’t living a lie.”

He glances over at me. “Driving away from the pain instead of facing it is living a lie.”

“Escaping momentarily isn’t living a lie.”

“It wasn’t ever about a moment to me. It was about escaping completely.” He looks at me again before focusing on the road. “But that’s done, baby. I meant what I said to Tristan; you pulled me out of hell. And I also told you once that I was the one person who could drag you to hell, and the one person who could keep you out.” His lips hint at a smile as he looks at me. “So I’ll keep you out of hell if you’ll keep me out of hell.”

Overwhelmed with relief that he’s so well balanced after all that happened with Tristan, and so very happy with how far we’ve come, I smile. “I’ll say ‘I do’ to that.”

His cell phone rings and Katie’s ID flashes on the console. “She must have wedding radar,” he says.

“And I’m totally in the mood to talk about our wedding.” I kiss his cheek and grab his phone, putting it on speakerphone. “Hello, Katie.”

“Sara! It’s so good to hear your voice. I’ve been worried sick about you two over this Ava mess. Chris texted me when you arrived in Paris, but I can’t help but worry she can find you even there.”

I relax at her warm tone, amazed at how much this woman manages to make me feel like family. “Good to hear your voice, too, and I really doubt Ava has the resources to find us here. Besides, we really aren’t her targets.”

“The woman thought she could kill Rebecca to be with your boss. You never know what a person like that will do. And Chris was concerned enough to leave the country.”

“He was scheduled for the charity event at the Louvre, so coming here made sense. But we’re actually on our way to the country chateau now.”

“Oh. The chateau.” There’s a pause. “How is he, Sara? How’s he taking this Amber situation?”