All Is Not Forgotten(62)

Okay, okay …

She did as I asked. And I waited, giddy with anticipation. Jason was scheduled to have his interview the following week. Parsons was now aware that my son was on the swim team. That he had been at the party. But I will get to that. I had begun to think, to worry, that nothing I did had taken hold. That the match I’d lit and thrown to the ground simply went out without catching fire to anything. I had little time. Was I wrong? Was there fire? Charlotte opened her eyes, the tears under control. And she answered my question.

This is all going wrong. Your work with Jenny, these memories she’s recovering, they’re all muddled together now, mixed up, and she thinks … Oh God … has she told you? She said she hasn’t told anyone, but it must have happened in here … it must have!

“Charlotte,” I said, “slow down. Tell me what Jenny said, and then I can tell you what I know about it.”

Her mind was running wild. I could see it in her eyes. I imagined she had been up most of the night with her spinning thoughts, and now they were just a tangled web of loose wires.

She thinks it’s Bob. Jenny thinks Bob raped her! Can you imagine?

“I see.” I had practiced the tone of my reaction for days. I know I got it just right, because Charlotte remained focused on the crisis. “How did that happen?”

You tell me! She said you were working on voices, words. She said she remembers Bob’s voice. She played some of his car ads on YouTube for me. And she’s met him dozens of times at the dealerships and in town. He’s Tom’s boss, for God’s sake!

“Did she say when this happened? It’s true we’ve been working on words and voices, but she hasn’t had any recalls in our sessions. I thought it was going to be a dead end.”

Charlotte was holding herself with both arms, rocking back and forth on the sofa. She shook her head from side to side. All very common mannerisms for acute anxiety.

She said it had just come to her. She was really quiet at dinner last night. Then she went to her room and I could hear Bob’s voice in those ads. I went in and asked her what she was doing, and when she turned from the computer, her face was soaked with tears. She looked like she did that day she remembered the moment of the rape.

“So she has remembered something and it feels real to her?”

Of course she remembers something! But she’s remembering all wrong! She’s remembering his voice from that afternoon in the pool house … when Bob helped save her life! But she’s placed it with the night of the rape! She thinks she heard his voice while she was being raped, not while she was being saved! Don’t you see! It’s all mixed up!

I rubbed my chin with my hand. I squinted my eyes and looked away. I was surprised and concerned, and in the appropriate doses.

“That is very possible. I had not considered that she would have a memory of that afternoon after she lost consciousness. But it is actually quite possible. People hear things while in comas. They form memories. It all depends on what the brain is doing while it’s unconscious. There are many factors involved.”

I paused and pretended to consider a course of action. Charlotte watched me carefully, as though I were a life raft floating nearby. Would the current bring it to her? Or would it carry it away and leave her to drown?

“Well,” I said, “I have to ask you the one thing you don’t want me to ask. Because while it is possible that her memory of his voice is misplaced, we have to at least rule out—”

Absolutely not! She interrupted me quickly and decisively. There is no chance Bob Sullivan raped my daughter.

“All right,” I said. “Then we will sort this out. She should not have been listening to his voice on those ads with this idea in her head. She knows better than to work on her memory recall outside this office.”

Oh, you have no idea! I went on the browser history. She’s been doing this for days—searching for his ads, listening to them over and over. She even asked Lucas some questions about Bob, whether he ever felt uncomfortable around him. As if he would do something to a ten-year-old boy! She Googled Bob and his family, has them on her alerts.… It’s in her head and now she’s convinced herself it’s a memory.

“When did it start?”

Wednesday. After the group session. That’s the first time she looked it up on the computer. I don’t know … maybe there’s more on her phone, but I don’t want to punish her for this or make her think she did something wrong.

Yes. Wednesday after group. Sean had told her about what he overheard in my office. That was the long conversation. That was the hug. I asked Charlotte about the rest of the week, about her behavior. Jenny had been to town twice since the group session. She had a lot of garbage to give to Sean. And a lot of secrets she’d been keeping from me.

Can you fix this before it goes any further? Before she tells Tom? My God—can you imagine?

“What do you think will happen?”

Are you kidding me? Tom will confront Bob. And then Bob will have no choice but to tell him.

“About the affair? About why his voice is in Jenny’s head?”

Yes! Yes!

I nodded with empathy and conviction. “I can understand why this is so upsetting. Have you told Bob?”

Absolutely not. He would tell Tom. He’d get so far out in front of this … you have no idea. He’s running for office, for Christ’s sake!