All Is Not Forgotten(53)

That’s what you can do for her. But what about me? I’m her father. I have to do something. And what I can do is help find her attacker and see him punished. Even if that gives her only a small amount of closure or peace or whatever you want to call it. At least it will be something I did.

“Have you given any thought to what we’ve been discussing? About your feelings of not deserving her? About your guilt?”

Of course! That’s not something a person forgets. I don’t know. I do feel guilty that I didn’t protect her. But the rest of it, about the universe punishing me … mostly I feel powerless.

“Explain that to me.”

Tom rolled his eyes. He made a face of exasperation. I don’t know. Charlotte wanted to make love last night. I don’t know why. But I felt like it had nothing to do with me. And then at work, there’s this secretary at the Jag dealership. The one out on Route 26.

“I know the one.” I did not know where this was going. But I knew Tom had not slept with a young secretary. If I had been wrong about that, I would have handed in my license.

I got a call from a client. This guy has bought four cars from me in the past few years. He’s not a guy you say no to. I was heading home and he called and he said he wanted to test a new F-Type convertible. I’d closed up and left for the day. It was almost dark, so it must have been after eight. My numbers were due the next day, so I was the last one out. But I turned around for this guy. I got back to the showroom in twenty minutes. The client was still ten minutes out. I went inside and I heard this sound. It was unmistakable, you know. People screwing. I should have made some loud noise, turned on the lights. Pretended I didn’t hear anything and given them a chance to sneak out or get dressed. Whatever.

“But you didn’t. I understand. It’s human nature to want to know.”

Well, I’m not proud of it. But I did it anyway. I walked quietly into the showroom. I stood against the wall. And then I saw them. There was light coming through the window. From the streetlamps. Through the glass. Shining right on them.

Tom shuddered at the memory of what he saw. I gave him a moment to let it pass.

It was my boss—the owner. Bob Sullivan. He was with Lila—this young woman. A girl, really. She’s twenty years old, for God’s sake! He’s fifty-three. And I don’t know why, but I find this the most disturbing part—he plays golf every weekend with her father. They’ve been friends for decades. Raised those kids in the same town, at the same club. He had her bent over the hood of a silver XK. Her skirt was hiked up to her waist and he had his hands pinning her down. One on her shoulder and one on the back of her head. It was disturbing, really. He was doing her from behind and she was pretending to like it. Moaning and whatnot. But I could see her face. I could see how every time he thrust into her, he pushed her into the metal hood of that car, using her face and her chest to brace himself. I could see her wince every time he did that. God—you must think I watched them for a long time. Honestly, it was a few seconds. But it was long enough. I don’t think I’ll forget that image for a long time. He knew that girl when she was really just a child. Pigtails and Barbie dolls. But now that she has a woman’s body, he can bend her over a car.

This is where everything stopped. My heart. My soul. My professional integrity. The only thing moving was my mind, and it was moving fast.

“So what did you do?”

I went back outside. Back to my car. I’d pulled in from the back entrance, but this time I drove around to the front and drove right in so my headlights were shining into the showroom.

“To give them time to escape.”

Exactly. I did what I should have done the first time. I jangled my keys at the door. I turned on the lights and coughed. Bob came out of the showroom, his face all flushed. I felt like punching him.

“And what, he made excuses for being there so late?”

Of course. And I pretended to buy them. Didn’t even give it a thought. I lied more easily than I thought I could. He didn’t question it. We talked about pricing for the client coming in, how much of a discount I could offer him. I’m sure Lila snuck out the other side door. I didn’t see her leave.

“When was this?”

Tom shrugged. Last Tuesday.

“Did you talk about it with anyone? With Charlotte?”

No. No one. And I would prefer to keep it between us. This is my job. My career. I run all the showrooms. I’m Bob’s second-in-command. No way I’m going to jeopardize that.

“Not even for this young girl? Is that why you feel powerless? Why you told me this story?”

Tom considered this. Yes, I think so. I feel—no, I am powerless. She’s an adult. Young, but still an adult. She probably thinks she can get something from him. I know she needs money. Maybe she’s thinking she’ll get a nice bonus in her next paycheck. Her father had some rough times and she wants to go to college. What am I supposed to do? Threaten to tell his wife? It’s none of my business.

“And if you didn’t work for Bob Sullivan? If you had just been a customer, for example?”

I guess then … well, I don’t know. Maybe I would feel the same way. Maybe I wouldn’t.

“But you would have a choice. The decision would be yours to make and not dictated by your employment?”

Yes. That’s it. That’s exactly it.