Aleksey's Kingdom (A Royal Affair #2)(34)

He punched me, and we were back to normal. I would have pulled him into my arms, but we were too visible. Instead, I began to walk toward the river and down the bank to the water. It was very dark, of course, and we were soon out of sight of the good major.

I then pulled him into my arms and admitted hoarsely, “I am sorry I did not tell you about Etienne. But do you now see what he saw? When he called you my tether?”

“I have told you that I do not like that—”

“Hush. You are missing the point. There is no tether, Aleksey, except the one in my heart. I am like Faelan: a wild creature you bind to you by the force of your presence. Even burnt, even disfigured with the pox or some other disease that might leap upon you suddenly as you ride home to me, I would still be entirely bound.” He made a small snort of disbelief, but I added, “If you died, I would not find another. You are the end of all this for me.”

He held me off a little. “Do not say that! I would not have you live on alone. God’s teeth, why are we talking like this? I wish to heaven we had not come on this journey now! It was supposed to be fun, and instead we have had nothing but misery and confusion and sadness.”

He let my arms slide down to the small of his back, effectively pulling our hips together. “Then let us push back the darkness our own way.” I laid him down upon the bank, my hands moving—

“I am lying in a snowdrift.”

This was not going to be easy. Divesting Aleksey of any of his warm clothing, even a slight rearrangement to give me access where I so desired, was not going to happen lying on a freezing bank in the snow. Even I could appreciate that. “Fuck!”

He chuckled and accepted my hand to stand once more, brushing snow off the very place I had fixated upon. He had the nerve to push his icy hands down the front of my trousers to warm them. “You can always work on your poem.”

“There once was a king from Hesse-Davia, whose cock could not have been heavier; he—” I laughed as he hit me, and I caught the fist. “Shall we go check the traps?”

He nodded happily but pulled me close for a kiss. It took us another half an hour then to make it to the horses, for it occurred to him that there were pleasurable things we could do standing, even though it was so cold. We took it in turns to take the other out and hold hard, risen flesh in our hands, pulling and working it until the spills made melted spots in the snow. It was not what I had planned for us to do, but the pleasure of watching Aleksey’s hand upon me, his fingers strong and eager, was compensation enough.

As we were riding through the dark under the trees toward the first of the fires, Aleksey murmured sadly, “If we were married, I would not have to fear that you would leave me when so disfigured, for you would be tethered in law.”

I glanced over at him. “Married men stray, Aleksey. They abandon families—wives and children.”

“Yes. But it would be nice to know that I would then have recourse to law to have you bound in chains and dragged naked to the stocks—or some such thing. I will improve on that punishment later. I like thinking about you being naked and punished and do so often when you are asleep alongside me.”

I snorted. “The Powponi—am I allowed to tell a…? Ow. The Powponi do not marry, as they are not Christian, but they do celebrate the joining of two people just the same.”

“How?”

“Well, feasting, music, dancing—much the same as Christian marriage, I suppose.” I took a breath and glanced over at him. “There is nothing to stop us having a feast when we return—if you would like….”

He turned to me with an expression on his face I had not seen before. I think I had genuinely surprised him beyond his expectation of me. I felt a surge of warmth but also a tingling of guilt at how easy it was to make him happy and how much I had not really taken the time or made the effort to before. It was not my way or my inclination. I batted away his attempt to kiss me across our horses’ backs and made some comment about the danger we were possibly facing or some other thing that sounded hollow even to my ears. He knew now. He was completely happy and could not keep the smile off his face as we approached the first of our fires. Given what happened later that night, I am glad now I did give him that fleeting span of happiness. It is a good lesson to learn: live more in the moment. It was hard for a man like me to do, though. My moments up to meeting Aleksey (and then much of my time with him when in Hesse-Davia) had been frightening and terrible. Aleksey had once likened me to a dog that has been kicked once too often. Does such a creature live in the moment, relishing it?

The lieutenant rose to greet us and reported he had seen and heard nothing. The only difficulty they had was not eating the bacon. This small joke was repeated at the next fire by the reverend. The trappers were not at their allotted place but appeared from the trees some time after we arrived. They claimed they had been relieving themselves before the long vigil.

I mentioned my concerns about them to Aleksey as we rode off, but he was too consumed by some private thoughts to bother much with another mystery. I discovered what he was planning when we reached the next post. He told the soldiers to return to the main camp and that we would relieve them for the rest of the night. They needed no further encouragement, so mounted their horses and faded into the darkness.

We were alone.




ALEKSEY SHED all his clothing and stood entirely naked to my inspection in the firelight. I told him he should not—that we might be having a visitor. He said the man was raving already; what harm could possibly come from him witnessing anything? He was so beautiful that I could not resist him further. The flickering illumination played shadows upon his flawless skin. He had filled out since I had first met him at twenty-three, when he had still been more of a boy in many ways than a man. Since then he had not only been to war, but he had been living a life little better than a native in the New World, and his body was honed and hard, sinew and bone, and muscle where muscle should be. I loved the hollow of his shoulder joint, the strength of his arms, their steel-like hardness. His chest was broad now, like a man’s, not slim as it had once been, but it fell to a waist very lean and hips that cloth barely graced.