Adored (Masters and Mercenaries #8.5)(57)

He sat up. “That means you’re not fine. I know that much.”

She had to laugh at that. “No, I didn’t mean it that way. Physically I’m good. I’m a bit restless, that’s all.”

He pulled her into his arms, resting against the back of the bed. His warmth surrounded her as he stroked her hair. “Because we’re not settled. Laurel, I’m worried you want something I can’t give you. Nothing is ever settled. I learned that a long time ago. We can be good one minute and broken the next. There’s no guarantee.”

And that was precisely why he refused to talk about the future. He didn’t believe in it. He didn’t trust it.

“I know.” It wouldn’t do any good to lecture him about it. She felt him sigh.

“I’m sorry about today. Baby, I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. I did the one thing I promised I wouldn’t do.”

Yes, he had. She sat up and looked at him, an idea in her head. Sometimes ideas got lost in the muddle of communication. People didn’t always use the right words to make someone truly understand. Words got filtered through the drain of a person’s history, giving them weight or lightness that others wouldn’t place on the definition. “You withdrew affection. You promised you wouldn’t do that, Mitch.”

“I know. I’m very sorry, Laurel. If it means anything to you, they were just words.”

And so was the rest of it, but words could drag a man down. A couple could drown in words if they weren’t speaking the same language. “Affection is something that can go away.”

“No. I don’t think so,” he argued in a low rumble. “Not this kind. I can’t imagine a time when I won’t feel this way for you.”

Marriage was a hard word for Mitch. Love was a word he didn’t even understand. So she would find the ones that would get to him.

“Even when I walked away, I adored you, Mitchell Bradford.”

He hauled her close again, his arms so tight around her. “I adore you, Laurel. I don’t know why you’re still here with me. It scares me, to tell you the truth. I don’t trust it.”

But he could. He wanted to. He simply needed time, patience. “You don’t have to right now. Just know that when we fight, I’m going to be here when it’s time for you to come home. I promise.”

She let her head rest against his chest, listening to the strong beat of his heart.

“I’ll go with Flynn.”

He held her tight when she tried to get up. She eased back down, understanding he needed her in his arms. She hadn’t expected him to give in on that. Not at all. She’d expected to have to tell Flynn to go home alone. “Why?”

“Does it matter?”

Did it? “Not really. I’m happy. I think it will be good for you. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’ll be waiting at home for you. You simply have to let your father talk and then you say whatever you need to. I don’t want you to have regrets after he’s gone.”

“I won’t. I wouldn’t. I’m not doing it because I need closure, Laurel. I’m doing it because I want to make you happy. Tell me this will make you happy.”

Mitchell Bradford was a man who took his responsibilities seriously. He followed the letter of their contract and tried to hold her to hers. He was unbending about certain things and didn’t lie about them. He’d told her flat out that discussing the past was out of bounds, that she had no place there.

And now he was facing it because he wanted to make her happy.

“Yes. Yes, Mitch. You make me happy, but this will make me even happier.”

“Then it’s good. I’ll go. And Laurel, I think while I’m gone, I want you to talk to a decorator. We should pick one of the rooms for a nursery. It’s still a long time away, but we should start making plans and stuff. Babies need lots of things, I think. God knows Tag’s kids do. Last time I was at his place, there was baby stuff everywhere. I think we should clean out my office.”

His office? His office was a train wreck of things he kept. He loved his office. “Mitch, I can use the guest room.”

“Too small. And it’s not close. I want the baby close to us. We can get rid of the stuff. Well, I’d like to keep some of the comics. They’re worth money, but no more than a box or two.”

“Mitch, you love that stuff.” She thought it was junk, but it was important to him.

“I want to love the baby more. I need to. I need to not need those things, Laurel. I need for us to be enough.”

She held him in the quiet of the night and for the first time, felt real hope for them.





Chapter Eleven




He had exactly forty-five minutes to get to the airport. He glanced down at his watch. He wasn’t more than fifteen minutes away, but in Dallas, one always had to allow for some traffic. “Are you sure you’re going to be all right?”

“I’m good, babe. Lisa is spending a couple of days with me and Remy assures me he won’t let us out of his sight. I’m actually interested in seeing how Lisa takes to the big guy. She’s always had a thing for that sexy Cajun accent.”

“You think it’s sexy?”

“Absolutely not, Master. I think it’s terrible and it makes my ears bleed.”