Actual Stop (Agent O’Connor #1)(3)

I tugged on the cartilage of my ear as I did the math. “About six months.”

“Wow. Isn’t it past time for you guys to have moved in together and adopted a cat?”

I made a face and shook my head in exasperation, trying not to laugh. “If you try to tell me stereotypes exist for a reason, I’ll be forced to punch you.”

“Fair point. But still, that has to be some kind of record for you.”

“You’re an *.”

She ignored my name calling. “So what is it about her?”

“She’s persistent as hell,” I quipped dryly, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye.

Meaghan’s expression was disbelieving. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“That can’t be it.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“How about something real, for starters?”

“That is real. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. Wore me down. And here we are.”

“Maybe that’s how it started. But that doesn’t explain why she stuck around.”

“She’s a glutton for punishment.”

Meaghan smiled. “Cute. But we both know I meant why you let her.”

I tapped my fingernails against the steering wheel as I considered the best way to explain it. “It’s easy.”

“Did you just call your girlfriend a whore?”

I rolled my eyes and made a face. “Not my girlfriend. And I said it’s easy, not she’s easy. Jesus.”

“Ah.” A pause. “So what exactly does that mean?”

“It means we have fun together. She’s funny and smart, and it’s not any more complicated than that.”

“Complicated by messy feelings, you mean.”

“There are feelings. I’m not a sociopath. I really like her.”

“If she’s so amazing and she’s managed to tie you down for this long, why the hell isn’t she your girlfriend?”

“I don’t know. We’ve never talked about it.”

“Well, do you want to talk about it?”

“Meaghan, I don’t like having women I’m actually seeing push me into talking about my feelings. What are the chances I’ll tolerate it from you?”

Meaghan was unfazed and unrelenting. “So if she said she wanted to make it official?”

“I don’t know. I think she likes things the way they are, too.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“She’s never said anything to lead me to think otherwise.” Sure, I’d occasionally wondered whether she wanted something more official or permanent, but she was a big girl. I trusted her to use her words. I’d also suspected she had her own reasons for wanting something easy and casual, and the last thing I wanted was to be backed into a position where I’d be forced to reveal my own rationale for craving simple.

“Because women are so direct when it comes to feelings.”

“I am.”

“Yeah, well, you’re the exception to just about every rule.”

I grinned. “Thanks.”

“Not a compliment.”

“Oh, sure it was.”

“Seriously, though. You know the talk’s coming sooner or later.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“And when it does?”

I pursed my lips and bounced my left knee. “Then I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, this is clearly going nowhere. New topic. How tired is your not-girlfriend of you always having to cancel plans because of the job?”

“Not nearly as tired as she is of me actually forgetting to cancel plans because of the job.”

“How many times has that happened?”

“A couple.”

“Ouch.”

“I don’t do it on purpose!”

She held up both hands. “Hey, I get it. I’ve been there. We all get caught up. She’s a cop, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Intel.”

“I’m surprised she’s giving you a hard time. You’d think another LEO would understand.” She gave me a pointed look I chose to ignore.

“Yeah, well, I should remember to call.”

“You should date another agent.”

The skin on my face was suddenly warm and a little too tight. “What?”

“It’s easier. I can’t tell you how much less stressful dating has been since I started seeing Carter.”

Oh, thank God! She was just talking about generally dating someone else we worked with, not referring to the last agent I’d been involved with and telling me I needed to go that route again. What a relief. I’d taken great pains to hide that relationship for various reasons. And I didn’t want to think about that right now. Or ever, if I could help it. Which I usually couldn’t.

“I don’t have to explain anything to him,” Meaghan said. “He gets all the subtle nuances of our job, so we never have these problems.”

“Great.” When had the air become so stuffy and hard to inhale? I cracked my window.

“I just…I just want you to be happy.”

“Mmm.” I stared out the windshield as I circled the block, looking for a place to park, Meaghan’s words ringing in my ears.