Acts of Desperation(23)

The line hung empty for a few moments while she took deep, nervous breaths. “Ok,” she whispered, defeated.

“Look, this is a fight—the fight of your life—and I will not let Anders win. Mom and dad raised us to be tough. You’re tough. Go outside and take some deep breaths in the cold air. It’s not going to do you any good for your class to see you crying. When your kids come back in, you put a smile on that pretty face and pretend everything is alright,” I said.

She huffed. “Pretend. It’s all I do. Pretend I’m alright at work. Pretend I’m alright in front of the kids. Pretend I’m not terrified every time that lunatic takes my kids out to dinner or over the weekend. I’m so sick of pretending.”

“I know, but you have to. It’s not always going to be like this. I promise it won’t. It’s going to be a bumpy road, but I’m on it with you.”

I heard a bell chime through the line. “Shoot,” she said then exhaled. “I need to get out of here. My kids are going to be walking in any second. Time to pretend again I guess. Ugh, I hate this.”

“I know. I’ll be in touch soon,” I said.

When the line disconnected, I threw my phone down and bunched my hair up at my temples, staring down at my desk. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. But instead of losing it, I needed focus on fixing the situation. I took my own advice and breathed in deep breaths and started racking my brain for options, but then my phone rang.

“Miss Adler, someone from the CCCS is on line one for you,” Dee said. “Would you like me to take a message?”

“No. Thank you. I’ll take it,” I said. Truthfully, I didn’t want to take it, but they took so long to return phone calls that I couldn’t miss the opportunity to talk to them. The legal system moves at a snail’s pace as it is, and I didn’t want to slow down any of my cases if I could help it.

I spoke with a representative regarding the Bellamy’s case. We worked through a few details, and laid out a plan. The next time I looked at the clock it was nearly four thirty. Most of the office would probably be getting ready to leave for the weekend. I didn’t know what I’d say to Sarah if I hadn’t figured something out by the close of business. I couldn’t let her down when she was in such desperate need of help.

I replayed our conversation in my head, and my frustrated tears returned as waves of anxiety hit me.

Screw it, I thought, I’ll just sit in here and launch into an ugly cry. Hopefully, by the time I’m ready to come out, everyone will be gone for the day. My tears started flowing, slowly forming a pool on my desk as I held my head in my hands.

Then, there was a knock at my door.

“Great,” I whispered to myself. “Yes?” I said, artificially raising my voice.

“It’s me. You have a minute?” It was Jax.

“Perfect timing,” I said under my breath. “Yeah, just a sec,” I said, continuing to hide my emotion by my tone. I didn’t want him to see me a slobbering mess. I blotted my face and took a deep breath. “Come in.”

He opened the door, and his smile instantly fell. “What’s wrong?” he asked and walked in, shutting the door behind him.

“Nothing. What’s up?” I asked, plastering a fake smile on my face.

“Don’t say nothing. You’re crying. What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Just a family mess I’m dealing with. It’s nothing. I’m fine,” I said, rolling my eyes. I was trying to play it cool, but my voice cracking somewhere at the end gave me away.

He grabbed a chair, setting it down next to me. He sat down and spun me around to face him. “Any time a woman says she’s fine, she’s anything but. Tell me.”

I sighed. “You sure?”

“Of course. I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“Ok,” I said. I took a deep breath and told him everything that had happened with Sarah and her case. “So,” I said. “It’s just been hard living through this, and it gets to me sometimes.”

“I can understand that,” he said. “Divorces aren’t usually pretty.”

“I know, but what really sucks is I think this could have gone a lot better. Her lawyer is just awful.”

“Who’s she got?”

“A friend of a friend of a friend pretty much. Someone my dad found through a recommendation from a guy at his gym. I did a little research on him, and he checked out alright, but he seems completely disorganized. I don’t know if he’s stretched too thin or what, but my sister needs new representation,” I said. “He even blamed the loss on her physical appearance in court.”

“Wow. Sounds like a mess,” he said, “and he sounds like a real ass.”

“I know,” I laughed. “So I’m angry and frustrated with all of this. Of course I’d like to represent her, but I think it’s risky, and I’m so close with her…” I stopped myself and shook off the worst case scenario I could think of. “I can’t imagine how awful I’d feel if I failed her. I just can’t risk it.” I shook my head.

“Sometimes working with family can be tough and it puts a lot of extra pressure on you. Why don’t you let me handle it?” he said.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I feel like it’s a lot to ask. You just got here, and I’m sure you’ve got a full load.”