A World Without You(60)

“I’m not like Bo,” I say immediately. “I don’t have his same problem.”

Dr. Franklin hesitates.

“Do I?” I ask. “Is it genetic or something? Is there a chance that I’ll—”

“No, no, I didn’t mean to imply that,” Dr. Franklin says quickly. “I mean, there is a prevalence for this sort of thing to happen in families, but not necessarily. I’ve worked with your mother, and we can’t confirm that any of your relatives have had similar issues to Bo’s.”

“But it’s possible.”

“It’s . . . possible,” he concedes.

I shift in my seat. I’ve never had any of the same symptoms as Bo, so maybe I’m safe. Or maybe his same set of gifts and curses lies inside me, even now, curled like a snake in winter, ready to rise. If not me, perhaps my children will be like Bo, slinking from mood to mood, time to time, leaving me behind just as Bo has done.

I have built a safe haven for myself in normalcy, but it’s terribly lonely here.





CHAPTER 39




“We need to talk,” Ryan whispers to me. His breath smells like mustard. “I just overheard some of the staff talking about ‘official letters’ that are being sent out to families during spring break.”

Family Day butts up against spring break—in fact, most parents take their kids home after the luncheon. Even though Ryan’s shuttle to the airport won’t pick him up until tomorrow morning, I saw his bags were already packed and waiting by his bedroom door.

“So?” I ask, my eyes still on the staircase that leads to the Doctor’s office, where Phoebe is.

“So, official letters mean official shit. The government goons are getting ready to go; the letters probably include their verdict on all this bull.” When I don’t answer, Ryan adds, “I’m worried they’re going to shut the school down. Haven’t you noticed the way the teachers have been acting?”

I watch as the weather outside the window swirls rapidly, from hurricane winds to a bright sunny day to flurries of snow. I clench my eyes shut, and when I look again, there’s nothing but the gray overcast sky.

“Berkshire can’t close,” I say under my breath. “I need it now more than ever.”

“Exactly, you idiot. If it closes, I’m off to military school, and who knows what they’ll do with you. I actually like this place. I’m not going to let them mess it all up just because of what happened to Sofía.”

“I know,” I say, turning my full attention to him. “If I could just save her, they would have to go.”

“Well, that’s not going to happen.” Ryan’s distracted, his voice dismissing my words.

“What”—I take a deep breath—“are you saying?”

Something in my voice causes Ryan to pause, and when he turns toward me again, there’s something unrecognizable in his eyes. Is it fear? “Sorry, dude, I mean, I’m sure you can save her, it’s just . . .” He struggles for words.

I release my breath. “Nah, man, I get it. My powers are out of whack. I just thought . . . I thought maybe the officials were somehow getting to you too. Everyone’s been so different since they arrived . . .”

Ryan smirks. “They’re not getting to me,” he says. “I’m in full control.” He turns again, eyeing a huddle of teachers clustered near the door, their heads bent close together, whispering.

“Full control of what?” Gwen’s voice is pitched lower than normal as she approaches us. She shoves herself beside me, using her body to force me to take a step away from Ryan. “What are you talking about?” she says aggressively.

“Nothing. Move along.” Ryan waves his hand, dismissing her.

Gwen turns to me. “Bo,” she says, her voice much softer. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am,” I say.

“What’s Ryan been telling you?”

“Nothing,” I say.

Her frown deepens. Past her shoulder, I can see Ryan’s face is turning angry. He’s never really liked Gwen, and the way she interrupted him . . . he’s not a very patient guy.

“Look, Gwen,” I say, pulling her aside. “Everything’s going to be okay. I know Ryan’s not your favorite, but I have to work with him right now—”

“Why?” Her voice slices through my words like a knife. “Why do you have to work with that *? You know he’s just using you, right? I don’t know how or why, but that’s all Ryan does—he uses people.”

“Now that’s not very nice,” Ryan says. His voice is idle, almost bored, but it doesn’t mask the fury building behind his eyes.

“Well, it’s true,” Gwen snaps, not bothering to turn around and look at him. “Bo, whatever he’s trying to drag you into—”

“Gwen, it’s okay,” I say, trying to placate her. Some of the teachers near the door are looking our way. “Look, I know you don’t understand what’s going on. It’s not your fault. The officials—”

“God, there’s not some weird conspiracy against you!” Gwen’s voice is growing desperate. “The officials aren’t doing anything but investigating Sofía’s death.”