A World Without You(45)

Tomorrow, when this moment is gone, I’m still going to try to hold on to this feeling for as long as I can. I’m going to try to feel her head resting on my shoulder. I breathe deeply, memorizing her scent. This is what I want to remember.

But I know that these will be the first memories to fade, the way they always do. The little things fade, leaving me only with broad sketches that aren’t real at all. I’ll be left with the idea of Sofía, not the reality.

And that will never be enough.





CHAPTER 28




Even though I last saw this movie when I was ten and Phoebe forced me to watch it with her on her birthday, I still remember most of the story: guy, girl, forbidden love, ship sinks. It’s all more than a little predictable, but I still pull Sofía closer to me as Rose tells Jack she’ll never let him go.

“It just sucks so much for her,” Sofía says, and I keep myself from laughing at her glistening eyes.

“For her? He’s the one who dies.”

Sofía shakes her head. “I think death is easier than guilt sometimes.” The movie’s not over, but she leans up on the beanbag, away from me. “You’re not really here, are you?”

I cock my head. “What do you mean?”

“I saw you leave with your dad earlier. You were wearing different clothes. Your hair is a little longer now than it was just a few hours ago.” She grins lopsidedly. “You’re out of time, aren’t you?”

I kiss her nose. “Yeah. I’m from the fuuuuture.” I waggle my fingers at her, and she giggles.

But then her face sobers. “That’s twice now,” she says. “At least twice.” When I don’t answer her, she adds, “Christmas too. You came to see me then. And now you’re here. There’s no reason for you to come back in time just to watch a stupid movie with me. Something’s wrong.”

You’re stuck in the past, and I’m starting to lose track of what’s real and what’s not because there are some shady government officials at the Berk who may be playing with my perception of reality, and I don’t know how to save you, much less the rest of the school.

“Everything’s fine,” I say.

Sofía frowns. “It’s not. Just tell me. Maybe I can help.”

Time doesn’t work that way. My intent matters. If I tell Sofía too much, I’ll get snapped back to the present.

“I just came back to see you.” As soon as I say the words, I know they are the wrong ones.

“Me? What happened to me?”

“Nothing, nothing,” I say, throwing up my hands. “I just . . . I’m still trying to figure out my powers, and I ended up here, and I thought, why not chill for a little?”

Sofía cocks an eyebrow, but she drops the subject. “So how are things going with your powers?” she asks.

I shrug. “Still learning.”

“You can stay put longer,” she says. “It’s been more than two hours, and you’re still here.”

I wish I could stay here forever, but I know I can’t. Lights-out is only a couple of hours away, and every second with Sofía is stolen from a past I don’t really have a right to claim.

“Have you ever jumped to another point in the past from the past?” Sofía asks as the credits begin to roll. She turns the volume down.

“What do you mean?”

“Like, could you take me from here to the Titanic? The ship, I mean.”

“I . . . I don’t see why I couldn’t,” I say. Usually when I’m in another time, I start to feel the pull of my own timeline, like a rubber band tugging to bring me back home. But I don’t feel that here. Sofía’s more my home than any point in time. With her, I could go anywhere.

A wicked grin smears across her face. “Let’s do it, then,” she says. “Let’s go to the ship. Just for a second. Let’s see what it’s like.”

“I think we’d stick out a bit,” I say, looking down at my T-shirt and jeans.

“I’ll make us invisible,” Sofía responds. “I don’t care if they can see us, I just want to see the ship.”

I nod. “Give me a second,” I say, closing my eyes and focusing on the timestream.

I’ve tried to go to the Titanic before. Phoebe used to make me play with her while I pushed her on the tire swing and she screamed out that she was king of the world. I didn’t get my powers until high school, but I remembered playing pretend with her so vividly that it felt real. So of course one of the first places I tried to go after I got my powers was to the ship. I had gone with the intention of warning people about the icebergs, though, so time pulled me back. I was blocked from there, never able to return.

But my intentions are different now. I just want to see the ship, to stand on the deck and see the stars over the frigid sea and maybe spot the iceberg but say nothing. I know now that this is a moment in time that cannot be changed.

I scan the timestream, looking for the moment in April 1912 when the vast ship disappeared in a sea that was far vaster than it.

“Ready?” I say, reaching blindly for Sofía’s hand.

Sofía’s fingers slip through mine, and she grips me tightly. “Ready,” she whispers.