A Shadow Bright and Burning (Kingdom on Fire #1)(35)
“So the reality is that the poor should be sacrificed to protect you?” This was what the Earl of Sorrow-Fell truly believed?
“You’re twisting my words, Miss Howel.” He was right; I was twisting his words, but his manner infuriated me. He’d lived behind the ward all his life. How could he presume to know how other people suffered?
“Have you seen a village destroyed by Familiars? Have you ever met children with their limbs torn off, their bodies covered with scars just like Rook’s? Do you know what it’s like, as part of your school charity, to travel to the site of a battle and nurse the wounded and dying? Have you ever been attacked with nothing to protect you? The first time I glimpsed a sorcerer, in eleven years of war, was when Master Agrippa came to my school hunting for the prophesied one. Eleven years. What were you all doing in that time?” I stared right into Blackwood’s eyes. “What were you doing, my lord? Riding and playing country sports on your estate?”
Agrippa cleared his throat. “That will do, both of you,” he said.
“In fact, I was preoccupied with my studies. I wanted to be useful. Isn’t usefulness your chief interest?” Blackwood’s voice was silken coldness. “I did not see much use in a girls’ school.”
Magnus set his glass down, eyes flashing. “We found our prophesied one at that girls’ school, didn’t we?”
I had to put my hands in my lap; they were beginning to spark. “It’s good to know how little your responsibilities at home matter to you. It explains why Brimthorn has been open to violence for so long!”
“Sorrow-Fell protects your school, Miss Howel. You said yourself, in eleven years you had never seen an attack.”
“Some monsters wear human faces. You kept out the Ancients, but you allowed a cruel, violent man who should never be put in charge of another living soul to run Brimthorn. Where was your protection then?” The whole table stopped eating. Magnus’s eyes widened. Blackwood grew still, but I could see the fury flickering inside him.
“You said that if only Rook had been born into my position, we would be exactly alike,” he snapped. “Well, you’re wrong. We are fundamentally different.”
“If you’re so certain,” I said, my voice rocky and low, “that the poor are born inferior, then all the shame in the world on you for not protecting them. If people are born generation after generation into poverty and deprivation, it is your duty to look after them, not sacrifice their lives to save your own!”
I threw down my napkin and fled from the table. I raced up the stairs and into my bedroom, where I struggled to tear myself out of my dress. My fingers burned so badly that I had to stop to perform the calming exercises that Agrippa had taught me. I breathed in and out to the count of four, imagining a cool stream of water running down my hands. Slowly, the fiery pain left, but I still trembled with rage.
There was a knock at the door. “Who is it?” I asked.
“Lilly, miss.” She entered and surveyed my crumpled state with a sad eye. “They said you’d gone to bed. Let me help you.” She moved to unlace me, when there was another knock.
“May I speak with you?” a familiar voice asked. Lilly opened the door. Agrippa stood upon the threshold. He cast a quick, miserable glance around his daughter’s old room. How often, if ever, did he come inside? “Are you all right?” he asked.
“I’m sorry.” Agrippa didn’t deserve people screaming at his table. I kept my eyes on the floor. “I can’t believe I said those things.”
“Don’t apologize. When you’re commended, you’ll also be the founder of the Howel line. Part of your responsibility as a seal bearer will be speaking up in Order assemblies. Besides, I was pleased.” Surprised, I looked up. He made as if to enter but stopped. “What you witnessed tonight was sorcery’s ugliest face. Many believe that common men and women are inferior. I hope,” he said, lowering his voice, “that you can do more for this country than help destroy the Ancients. There are minds that need changing.”
“I can’t imagine that’s something Lord Blackwood will like.”
“Nonetheless, it’s what I believe. Don’t fret, and don’t think too harshly of George. He dwells on his responsibilities to a punishing degree. I’m sure he’ll brood on what you said for the next few days.” Agrippa glanced about the room once more. My stomach lurched at his obvious sadness.
“Do you wish me to change rooms? I can’t stand how much pain my being here seems to cause you.”
“No, this is as it should be.” Agrippa closed his eyes. “I’ve gotten to avoiding this wing of the house. This room needed a new occupant, and I’m happy to find a lovely young lady living here again. Now get to sleep.” With that, he was gone.
Lilly took my dress off, put it away, and unlaced my corset. I pulled the pins from my hair, cursing Blackwood under my breath. I got into my nightdress and stared at my reflection in the mirror, feeling bone-weary.
“I don’t know how I can face them again.”
“I think the gentlemen are more with you than not,” Lilly said. “?’Least that’s what Jimmy told me, the first footman. Says Mr. Magnus in particular is on your side. Apparently he had some strong words for His Lordship after you left.”