A SEAL's Courage (Military Match #1)(50)

Another orgasm exploded over her, and Lauren gasped, shaking and jerking as the luscious spasms took her. Beneath her Trent stiffened, thrust against her one last time, then held her firmly in place and groaned from deep within his chest.

She collapsed on top of him. Every limb shook, this time from exhaustion and satiation. Their harsh, erratic breathing filled the otherwise silent room, chests heaving as each attempted to drag in much-needed oxygen. Lauren pressed her face into his neck, immersed herself in his scent, and let it wash over her. Trent banded his arms around her back and turned his head, pressing his cheek to hers.

How long they lay that way, she didn’t know, but neither moved. Lauren couldn’t find the will. A connection spawned between them in that moment she couldn’t deny or ignore. He held her too tightly, and she had no desire to put any distance between them. The longer she lay there, the more the realization settled over her.

“I don’t want to wait.” She murmured the words into his neck but couldn’t bring herself to look at him. If he denied her, she couldn’t bear to see the regret fill his eyes. “If all I have is two more weeks with you like this, I want it all. I want to spend every night making love to you, and I want to wake up beside you every morning. No more slow. No more waiting. If we’re going to continue this, we need to go all out or it needs to end here.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, her heart thudding in painful anticipation of his denial. His excuse. His half-hearted reasons why he needed distance. She was falling in love with him, and she couldn’t do it anymore. If she was losing her heart to him, she wanted all of him in return. When the two weeks were over, she’d let him go.

“Agreed.” He turned his head, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “Your place or mine?”

Lauren lifted her head. She hadn’t expected him to say that.

He gave her a gentle smile, his hands caressing her back. “I can’t deny I want the same thing, but the rest of the deal still stands. In two weeks this ends.” His hands stilled on her back, his expression solemn. “I won’t lose you.”

She stroked his cheek, enjoying the soft scrape of his stubble against her fingertips. “Who says you will?”

Her heart swelled and ached at the same time. The thought of going back to being just a friend to him made her sick to her stomach. Beyond a shadow of a doubt it would break her heart. Who’d have thought it? Her first love would be a man she’d known for most of her life. A man she’d have to continue to see.

She’d just have to deal with it, though. She wasn’t stupid enough to think he could love her back. He’d just told her as much.

Neither could she regret spending this time with him. She’d treasure it.

Trent blinked at her for a moment before his expression went carefully impassive. He lay silent. She didn’t have to ask to know he’d drawn into himself, that he likely wouldn’t tell her what he was thinking, and like every other time, it created distance between them. It had never bothered her before, because it had always been about the war. The memories that haunted him. This time it seemed to be a reaction to their conversation. After everything they’d just shared, it became a side of him she couldn’t reach.

He confirmed the thought when he diverted his gaze, his fingers busy stroking her skin. The curve of her ear. Along her jawline.

“I’m bound to disappoint you, Lauren. It’s better for both of us if this stays short-lived. I’m not sure I could handle it if you hated me when this was over.”

She drew a breath and released it. “Going back to being just friends won’t be easy, Trent. I’m not sure I’ll be able to turn all of this off just because you want me to.”

His fingers stilled and his gaze jerked to hers, eyes widened slightly. As if what she’d said hadn’t ever occurred to him. “Would you rather end this now?”

She had to be honest with him here, too. “No. I’m not sorry for this. When I signed up with Military Match, I wanted to lose my virginity to a nice guy. Someone who’d make it something I’d remember with fondness. And that’s you.”

The tension in his body drained, relief washing across his features. His hands caressed her back again, soft, soothing. “I think you’re wrong. We were friends before this. We’ll be friends after. That was the whole idea.”

She sincerely hoped he was right.

“As for where we do this…” She glanced down, tracing her fingers along his bottom lip. “Where would you be more comfortable? My place or yours?”

“Yours. I hate this apartment.” His fingers resumed their torment of her skin, skimming her spine, leaving tingles in his wake. A sudden smile bloomed in his face. “How ’bout we go out tonight?”

She drew her brows together. He’d rarely left his apartment since he’d come home unless it was to go to work. She was pretty sure their first date was his first social outing. “Out where?”

One shoulder hitched, his eyes following his fingers as he reached up to tuck her hair back out of her face. “A bar? Club maybe? I don’t know. Something fun.”

She pursed her lips, worry tightening her stomach. “Can you handle a place like that? It’ll be noisy and crowded…”

He let out a sardonic laugh. “I haven’t a clue. I’ll probably get overwhelmed. But I promised myself when I came home that I’d do everything they couldn’t.” He turned his head, peering across the room in the direction of his closet. “AJ would’ve turned twenty-one this month.”