A Pledge of Passion (The Rules of Engagement #2)(32)

"Circumspection? Are you saying he would not only expect his wife to take lovers, but would turn a blind eye? I don't wish to hear any more."

"Might I convey to his lordship which part of his proposal you find objectionable?"

"I think perhaps I object most to Lord Rochford's choice of emissary." She rose on legs that still felt like aspic. "Forgive me if I do not invite you to stay for tea, Mr. Needham. I am feeling quite indisposed." That much was true. Would she even make it out the door before the dam of emotions burst? "Rogers will be happy to see you out."

She only managed four steps toward the door before he murmured her name.

"Mariah, please. I can explain everything."

She willed herself to keep her back to him. If his expression matched his pleading tone, she would surely fall to pieces. "There is no excusable explanation for what you have put me through, Mr. Needham. Please leave. I don't wish to see you again."

***

"Can you believe the audacity of the man?" With skirts swishing, Mariah paced the chamber. "I feel like such a fool for ever caring about him!"

"What reason did he give for breaking it off?" Lydia asked.

"He didn't! We never even discussed it. I had barely overcome the shock of seeing him before he began speaking of Lord Rochford."

"So Rochford has offered for you by proxy? How will you answer him?" Lady Russell asked.

"I cannot even fathom considering an offer from Lord Rochford," Mariah replied.

"Why is that, child?"

"When I wed, if I ever wed, I would at least like it to be for my person, not just for my purse. I never held overly romantic notions of marriage, but I do aspire to marry someone who at least treats me with kindness, courtesy, and a modicum of respect. In return, I cannot respect any man who sends another to woo his bride." Her throat tightened as she fought another onset of tears. "How could he be so cruel as to come to me bearing an offer of marriage from another?"

"Perhaps it was not by choice?" Lady Russell suggested. "He is in Rochford's employ after all."

"Supposing that is the case, he should have refused, given the circumstances."

"But those circumstances are what brought him back to London," Lady Russell pointed out. "You cannot know what he is thinking. Perhaps you should have given him a chance to explain himself."

"I still can't believe you sent him away," Lydia said.

"What would you have done in my place, Lyddie?" Mariah asked.

"The same, I suppose," Lydia confessed. "I would have none of Marcus for weeks after he returned from Breda. But when we were forced together," she slanted Lady Russell a mildly accusing look, "we began to realize just how compatible we really are."

"And in the end you reconciled with him," Lady Russell said with a self-satisfied smile.

"Why, Lyddie?" Mariah asked. "You were so determined to break it off after he made you wait so long. What softened your heart toward him?"

"In truth, I didn't want to soften," Lydia said. "But then Marcus began to see me as a true helpmeet. After I won his respect, he won back my love. He is still an arrogant arse, but I do love him passionately." Lydia smiled. "I confess our physical attraction was another major point in his favor."

"One should never underestimate the power of passion," Lady Russell said. "My own marriage to Wriothesley was a most fortuitous match. We wed for convenience but discovered passion in our union. I recall sleeping very little in the first years of our marriage." Her eyes misted with a faraway look. "We would no doubt have had many more children had he not been taken from me so early."

"Are you content with memories, my lady? Is that why you never remarried?" Mariah asked.

"In part. Although I cherish those years still, in all truth, I have no real need of a husband when I have all the comforts of a queen. But we digress. We were speaking of you."

"And I can't help desiring what you had, my lady."

"Do you still have tender feelings for Mr. Needham?" she asked.

"I don't want to after the ill way he has used me, but I don't know how I feel anymore," Mariah replied in a choked voice.

"Of course, my dear," Lady Russell consoled.

"Even if he begged, how could I ever forgive him?" Mariah asked. Yet, even as she railed against him, she couldn't banish his face from her mind.

***

Nick had stood helplessly frozen to the floor as Mariah gave him her back and walked out. Bloody hell. He couldn't have blundered it any more if he'd tried. As he'd hoped, she hadn't the least interest in Rochford's proposal, but that was small consolation given that her rejection was largely because he'd been the one to present it. How could he possibly hope to win her back if she refused even to see him?

He'd been such a fool ever to imagine he could sacrifice his own selfish desires and let her go. He'd known the moment he'd laid eyes on her again that he could not give her up, not to Rochford, not to any man.

Nick was leaving Russell House just as Marcus was arriving. "Once more, we are well timed," Marcus declared. "I have just come from the Duke of Richmond's. I heard he has several horses for sale. I'm seeking a good English hunter to take back with me to Modena. The countryside there is ideal for the hunt, but the Italians know nothing of good horse flesh. Have you come to see Mariah?"