A Perfect Ten (Forbidden Men #5)(65)

“All you said was, ‘I’m fine.’”

I shrugged and glanced away. “Well…I was.”

“No, you weren’t.” Clasping his hands together, he set his elbows on the table and kept watching me. The fact that he wasn’t shouting was a small miracle, but still…I didn’t really want to talk to him just yet. I needed time to prepare my words.

“Where were you?” he asked.

I snorted and shook my head. When I started for the doorway to leave the kitchen, he hopped from his chair and darted into my path.

“Caroline, I’m sorry.”

I stopped abruptly and gaped up at him, not at all expecting an apology.

He blew out a breath and spiked a hand through his hair. “Aspen told me not to ask where you stayed all night, and f*ck. Here, it’s the first thing I ask. What I really want to know is, are you okay?”

Now that was completely unexpected. “What?” I had to ask, sure I’d misheard him.

He flushed. “I was way out of line last night. And I’m…you know I never meant to hurt you, right?”

I blew out a breath, realizing he was talking about my doctor’s visit. Oren had successfully made me forget it for a while. I’d even forgotten to tell Zoey about it.

Lifting my chin, I glanced into his concerned blue eyes, the same color as my own. “You didn’t hurt me, Noel. I hurt myself. I did this to myself.”

When my chin trembled, he muttered, “Shit,” under his breath and yanked me to him for a hard hug. “But I didn’t have to be an inconsiderate ass about it, and I…I’m so damn sorry, kiddo. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.”

Well, not thinking about it had been working the best so far. But now that he was talking about it again, my eyes stung. “I just wish…” I choked out. “I wish I’d done so many things differently. I wish…”

“I know.” He stroked my hair slowly. “I feel like shit because I wasn’t there for you when you went through all that. If only I’d been there, if only I hadn’t made you feel as if you couldn’t come to me for help—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I started, but he shushed me.

“Yeah, I did. I was supposed to protect you and take care of you. Instead, I yelled at you when you told me you were pregnant. I made you—”

“Noel, you can’t take credit for everything I did wrong. I made my own decisions, and I’ve had to live with them. I’ve had to—” My voice choked up. “I deserve this, you know. I killed my first baby, I kept it from even starting its life, from taking its first breath, I don’t deserve another chance—”

“Care, don’t talk that way. Don’t—” He grasped my arms and looked deep into my eyes. “You were a scared, seventeen-year-old girl alone with no one around to hold your hand. And you’d already told me about it. That meant you were ready and willing to have that baby. I don’t think you ever planned on getting an abortion. I think that little dick’s mommy and daddy got a hold of you and intimidated you into it. They flashed a f*ck load of money into your face and—”

“It wasn’t about the money. I didn’t do it for the money.” Noel nodded, believing me, so I added, “They threatened you. They said they’d hurt you, and Colton and Brandt too. You were doing so well with football, headed for the pros. And Colton and Brandt... Why should you or they have to pay for something stupid I had done?”

He snorted and shook his head. “And just how in the hell did they think they were going to hurt us?”

I shrugged. “They didn’t say, but they were rich and powerful. I knew they could if they wanted to.”

“Bastards,” he hissed.

I nodded. “Yeah. They were, but I still didn’t have to…” When my voice failed me, Noel kissed my temple.

“It’s over and passed,” he assured me. “I know it’s going to keep haunting you for quite a while, but I want you to know, from here on out, you’ll always have my support…no matter what.”

I nodded and swallowed hard. “Thank you,” I whispered. But now I felt like crap. I think I would’ve preferred it if he’d just yelled at me. Nice Noel knew how to pile on the guilt without even trying.

I hugged him because I just couldn’t look him in the eye, knowing I was keeping so much stuff from him, knowing he still wouldn’t support me if only he knew where I’d spent the night.

“Well,” I started. “I have finals to study for, so…”

“Oh, before you go.” He grabbed a slip of paper off the table. “Tad called.”

I paused and whirled back, snagging the sheet from him. “Did he? Oh, thank God.” Then I scowled thoughtfully, wondering why he’d called the house phone. “Hmm. I must’ve given him the landline number instead of my cell.”

Noel lifted an eyebrow. “Is he who you were with last night?”

The question made me stumble to a stop. “What? Good God, no.” I wrinkled my nose into a frown. “He’s in my film class. Our final is a group project, and I had to be the group leader. He was supposed to do the sound effects, and I was starting to worry I’d have to take care of it myself.”