A Fallow Heart (Tommy Creek #2)(98)

He frowned. “No. My heart is with the people I love. And everyone I love is elsewhere. This place is just roots and soil, and maybe a little bit of sentimental history.”

“But—”

“No!” he growled more adamantly. “Don’t you get it? I want to be with you. I may be most comfortable here on my home ground, but I can’t stomach any kind of life without you in it. This last month has been hell. Utter hell. I sent you away thinking we’d both be better off. But I don’t want you to be better off without me when you can be better off with me around. If I have to find a job in Dallas washing dishes, I’ll do it. Just as long as you let me back into your life, I’ll do whatever I have to do to give you everything I have.”

She blinked, totally taken aback. It was what she’d dreamed to hear come from his mouth. And yet, it was all wrong. “You…wait. You want to move to Dallas?”

After a brief, decisive nod, he whispered. “Yes. More than anything.”

“I…” Her breath caught. “But you can’t. No.”

When his face drained of color and his hand slipped listlessly from hers, she hurried to add, “I mean, you can’t because I’m leaving Dallas.”

He gaped as if needing a moment to let her words sink in. Then he frowned. “Leaving?”

With a bob of her chin, she offered him a wobbly, uncertain smile. It was now or never to drop her big bomb. “I’m returning to Tommy Creek. My dad said he had an opening in the office at Rawlings Oil, in the H.R. department. I’m going to work there.”

Cooper shook his head as if he didn’t comprehend. “But what about your business?”

A rueful smile slipped out as she shrugged. “I sold it; to one of my best employees. She got a heck of a bargain.”

“Sold it?” Horror filled his whiskey eyes. “Oh, God. You didn’t.”

“But I did.” She laughed, though the trembling sound revealed her uncertain nerves. Why did he look so upset?

“Jo Ellen,” he whispered. “Why…” He paused to flounder. “Why would you do that? You love your job.”

She sighed. “Yeah, I thought so too. But the thing is I really didn’t. Not like I thought I did.”

His eyes searched hers frantically. “What happened?”

You did, she wanted to tell him. But the intensity of the moment clogged her throat.

“My big dream has always been about family. I wanted to be a wife, a mother. I wanted to belong to people. When that never happened, I focused on a career instead, hoping it would fill the nothingness I had become. And yes, I did enjoy what I did, what I was able to accomplish. I received a measure of satisfaction from it, but I never felt as complete and satisfied as I did when I spent the week here…with you.”

Cooper blinked repeatedly, his gaze glazing with moisture.

“When I returned to Dallas,” she went on, blubbering aimlessly. “Not even my job could make up for that huge, gaping hole inside me. I lost my will to keep it going. I just wanted to come home.”

He licked his dry lips before hoarsely asking, “You seriously sold your business?”

She nodded. “I was in the process of packing and trying to find a place around here to live when Grady called and told me about Thad.”

He took her hands, his own fingers trembling. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?”

Jo Ellen studied his pale whiskey eyes. “What would you have done if you knew?”

His eyes flared and mouth worked. “I…”

An idea seemed to strike him because suddenly his face cleared and he relaxed. With a smile, he answered. “I would’ve written you a letter that said I was sorry for the things I said to you a month ago. I was scared of my own feelings and had to be rude and insensitive to combat the fear. And I would’ve told you that the part about Travis Untermeyer was a lie. I can live with knowing he held your heart first. In fact, I don’t care if you love him until the day you die. I still want you to marry me. Please be my wife. I can love you enough for the both of us.”

Emotion clogged her. If the strong feelings she’d had for Cooper before weren’t love, then this certainly was. In that moment, she knew this was the man she’d spend the rest of her life with. Fingers shaking with unabashed joy, she reached out to cup his face.

“My God, Cooper. You are so stupid, and wonderful, and…” She gave up on trying to find the perfect description and kissed him. “I don’t love Travis. I don’t think I ever really did because he never once made me feel the way you do every time I’m with you.”

He sucked in a breath and whispered her name. When he leaned in to kiss her, she pulled back. “And I don’t want you to love me enough for the both of us. I’d rather carry my own portion, thank you very much. I love you so much it consumes me.”

This time, there was no stopping him when he crashed his mouth against her and drank from her lips.

“Jo Ellen.” He laughed out a pure, honest sound of relief against her mouth before kissing her again.

She wrapped her eager limbs around him and hugged him hard.

“Yes,” she said as soon as he pulled back to study her face. “Yes, I will marry you.”

His eyes flared. Looking dazed, he kissed her again before nuzzling his nose to hers. “God, I love you. I’ve loved you my entire life.”