A Fallow Heart (Tommy Creek #2)(90)

He started to lift from his chair to find Untermeyer that very moment and kill the bastard for touching her against her will.

“But that’s not the best part.” B.J. grabbed his arm and yanked him back down. “While he’s all cradled on the ground howling in pain, she stands over him and reams him a new one, telling him how glad she was that they broke up before she could make the biggest mistake of her life and actually marry him.”

“Holy shit.” Cooper’s jaw dropped. “She didn’t.”

“Oh, but she did…and more. Before he ran off to hide in shame, she told him she kissed some other guy while they were dating. And he was a hundred times a better kisser than Untermeyer.”

A large, uneasy breath shuddered from Cooper’s lungs. He didn’t know what to think.

“Can you just believe that? Perfect little Jo Ellen Rawlings kissed someone else while dating Untermeyer? I think I might actually like her now.”

Coop frowned. “You didn’t like her before?”

B.J. shrugged and made a face. “Meh. In high school, she always seemed like she was too good, too flawless for all us mere mortals. But this makes her more…I don’t know, human.”

“She was always human, B.J.”

“Yeah, but now she’s a likable human who knew better than to stick with an ass like Untermeyer.”

A pleased laugh erupted from his lungs. “Yeah,” he had to agree. Then he closed his eyes and grinned. Way to go, Jo Ellen, he silently cheered, unabashedly relieved her moment of closure with Pretty Boy had gone exactly the opposite of how he feared it would.

Suddenly, he wanted to call her…just to hear her voice.

Ah, hell. He wanted to beg his way back into her life and that was the truth of it. In fact—

“Oooh!” B.J. gasped, breaking into his thoughts. “I bet it’s Shelley Brenterhorn you’re all crazy about. She’s married with a couple kids now. Didn’t you two hook up once or twice back in the day?”

He blinked, thrown completely off track by such a horrible guess. “No. Not Shelley. Why would you think marriage is why my woman’s forbidden anyway?”

B.J. shrugged, looking puzzled by his question. “I don’t know. Why else would she be forbidden?”

It struck him then. That’s why her own lost love was forbidden, which made so much more sense to him. He couldn’t see B.J. being the type to want something and not do everything in her power to get it. But if the man she wanted was already married, well, then—

“Jesus,” he breathed, a chill coating him as he grew concerned. “B.J., please tell me you haven’t messed around with a married man. Have you?”

She shot him an immediate insulted scowl. “God, no. Why would you even suggest that? He doesn’t even know I like him. Damn, Gerhardt.” She slugged him in the shoulder. “What kind of tramp do you think I am?”

“Sorry.” He rubbed his new bruise. “I just…sorry. You worried me there for a second.”

“I would never try to worm myself between him and his wife, who I might add is a very lovely, elegant lady he absolutely adores.” She sighed with a soft smile. “He’s a really great husband to her. I gotta admire that about him, you know.” She glanced at Cooper, and something inside him shattered.

“Jesus, you really are as bad off as I am, aren’t you?”

She rolled her eyes. “I doubt you’re as bad off as you think you are.”

He didn’t agree, but she didn’t give him time to argue his point. “Know what I’ve noticed about you?” She said, changing the subject.

He filled his mouth with ice cream and tried to imagine what Untermeyer must’ve looked like right after Jo Ellen had racked him. “Hmm? What’s that?”

“You’re too goddamn nice for your own good.”

He frowned at her, the lovely vision in his head dissolving. “Pardon?”

“You don’t reach for anything you want, you don’t hold onto it tight. Take your spraying business, for example. That was, like, a dream come true for you, wasn’t it?”

He nodded, still not sure where she was going with this line of conversation.

She nodded as well. “Hell, yes it was. I remember how excited you were the day you began doing it. But you gave it up the moment your parents needed you.”

He opened his mouth to argue, though he wasn’t sure what he could argue. She was only stating a fact so far. So why did she sound so negative about it, as if he’d done something wrong.

“That’s how you always work. Doesn’t matter how bad you want something; you don’t dive straight toward it. You don’t fight for it. You glance around first, make sure it wouldn’t hurt anyone else or get in the way of their dreams, then you cautiously stretch out your hand as if ready to snap it back the moment someone makes a fuss.”

Feeling more and more degraded by her words, he frowned. “So what? What’s wrong with worrying about other people’s feelings?”

B.J. rolled her eyes. “Nothing’s wrong with it, you moron. I’m just saying, you’re too goddamn nice for your own good. I bet you a hundred bucks that’s what’s keeping you from this mystery lady of yours. You refuse to tell her how you feel and what you want from her because you’re worried about how it’ll affect her, possibly mess up the life she’s already set for herself.”