A Destiny of Dragons (Tales From Verania #2)(87)

“Maybe because parts of it have been hidden from me,” I snapped.

And there it was, the barest of flinches, the smallest of cracks in the mask. I knew he wasn’t indifferent to all this. I knew that. Morgan loved me, maybe more than anyone else in the world. That wasn’t in question.

But he had lied. He had withheld the truth from me. I’d trusted him, and maybe part of me still did. I trusted him to protect the King and Justin. I trusted him to protect my parents. And Tiggy and Gary and Ryan. I trusted him to protect me. But everything else?

I didn’t know anymore.

“There are reasons, Sam,” he said. “For everything. Even if you’re angry at me now, and even if you don’t understand, there are reasons for everything I do.”

“You didn’t choose me,” I said. “I always thought you had. But you didn’t. I was forced upon you by some crazy lady from the desert. That’s all this ever was. And to make it worse, you left us to wallow in the slums. You could have come for us earlier. You didn’t. Do you know how many times my parents went hungry just so I could be fed? How many times I heard my mother crying at night because she thought she had failed me?”

The mask cracked further. He took a step toward me, made an aborted motion to reach out for me. Instead, his hand fell to his side and curled into a fist. “I was wrong,” he said. “And for that, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. Randall was… adamant. That we let your life unfold as naturally as possible before needing to intervene. He thought it would build your character, that it would make you a better person. And while I don’t disagree, I believe you should have been given more. And it is my fault that didn’t happen. I should have fought harder. I am imperfect, Sam. No matter what you may have thought about me before. I am to blame as much as Randall is. If not more.”

“Why? Why did he think that? Why would Randall put me through that?”

“Myrin,” Morgan said. “Randall thought mistakes made in the past could be avoided in the future. He designed his magic, Sam. For centuries. More than anyone else has ever done before. And when it was time to find his cornerstone, he didn’t have to look very far.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“You’re like him in that you’re different. But where he created design after design after design, your magic was already within you. What you did that day in the alley so very long ago should have been impossible. The design of your magic was at levels far beyond what I or Myrin or even Randall ever had. Which is why finding your cornerstone when you did, at an age so young, was the right path meant for you. It was the only path meant for you. It wasn’t just fate, Sam. It was necessary.”

“And if I hadn’t found him?” I asked, jaw tense. “If I hadn’t found Ryan? Would you have pawned me off on Ruv when Vadoma came for me?”

He hesitated. “I would have laid out your options.”

I snorted. “It’s a good thing that I made my own choices, then.”

“Yes, Sam. It is.”

“I’m so angry, Morgan.”

“I know.”

“At Randall. At you. At Vadoma. This is my life that you all meddled in.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” I spat at him.

He looked older than I’d ever seen him before. “Every choice I’ve made, whether good or bad, has always been with your best interest in mind. Yes, I knew of you before. Yes, I could have done more. Yes, this impossible situation feels like our hand was forced. But Sam, I chose to love you as I do because of who you are, not who you were supposed to be. I love you because you mean the world to me. You have always been the joy that is in my heart.”

“Godsdammit,” I said, wiping my eyes. “That is so unfair. You manipulative bastard. Hitting me right in the feels.”

There was a small smile on his face. “Is it working?”

“Maybe. I’m still mad.”

“I know.”

“I’m going to hug you, though.”

I thought maybe his shoulders sagged a little in relief at that, but he put on a good front. “Must we?”

“We must,” I said, shuffling forward. And I didn’t even have it in me to chide him when his arms came up around me and held me tightly, his beard tickling my cheek. It was a good hug, but I didn’t let it last very long. I had a point to prove, after all.

I pulled away, and he let me go. I took a step back, shouldering the pack again. I wanted to leave, to put some distance between us so I could clear my head, but I needed more.

“Myrin,” I said.

Morgan looked away. “We couldn’t save him. Not when he started walking a path we could not follow. Not I, his brother, nor Randall, his love, could drag him away from the dark. There was a king, long before the Good King, that was driven mad by Myrin’s counsel. Randall brought the king back by the sheer force of his will, and together, we banished Myrin to a realm of shadows because we could not bear to end his life. We begged him. We pleaded with him. But he was already lost to the dark. And nothing we could do would have brought him back. We failed him, Sam. And I will have to live with that for the rest of my life.”

“Did you know it was him?” I asked. “When Vadoma came to you about the dark man in shadows?”