A Destiny of Dragons (Tales From Verania #2)(70)

It made me feel a little bit better that everyone would be able to appreciate my art.

But Tina was still going. “And since when do we allow people from the slums to hold such high office as the apprentice to the King’s Wizard? No matter what they want you to believe, no matter what they try and tell you, make no mistake. Sam of Wilds looks like he’s from the slums, but how can we be sure of that? Is it too much to ask that he show us his birth certificate so that everyone can see who he truly is? Especially since he does have the King’s ear.”

“Godsdamned birthers,” I muttered.

“We love you, Lady Tina!” a woman screamed in the audience. Some others began to cheer, and Lady Tina closed her eyes, as if she was letting the applause wash over her. I thought it would be the perfect moment for a meteor to fall from the sky and squash her flat. Alas, none fell, and I was disappointed that the gods didn’t see fit to smite her where she stood.

“And I love you,” Lady Tina breathed into the megaphone. “So, so much. For having the courage to stand here today, in the face of what appears to be overwhelming odds. To show that no, Sam of Wilds is not universally beloved, as he would have you believe. No, we won’t go quietly into the night, letting him walk all over us with his horrible fashion sense, his strange-looking teeth, his obvious lack of any culture whatsoever. Do we even need to discuss the fact that he came in with his stupid face and destroyed the most wonderful thing in the world known as Rystin? No one likes HaveHeart, you sanctimonious piece of filth. It’s against nature and disgusting and I hate you so much for it.”

The audience didn’t cheer much at that. In fact, most of them looked confused.

Lady Tina coughed. “I mean, he’s costing the great people of Verania their sense of security?”

The crowd clapped slowly. “Yaaaaay?” someone asked.

“Maybe I should go out there and protest,” Justin said. “She was pretty much right about most of that.”

“Best friends don’t protest against each other,” I reminded him. “It’s against the bro-code.”

“Bro-code,” Justin said, like the very words made him ill.

“And that is another thing!” Lady Tina cried. “Just look at them. A unicorn and a dragon. Why, that goes against the very face of the gods! Everyone knows that interspecies relationships are wrong. And they just sit there, forcing us to watch it, like we want to even see something like that. If there’s one thing that I know, it’s that when I’m staring at someone to judge them, they should not be allowed to shove their filth down my throat!”

“Wow,” Gary said. “She’s a few cookies short of a bake sale.”

“Our love is not wrong,” Kevin said. “Everyone knows that there is magic in what we have. Why, our romance will be sung about for ages. The Beast from the East and his one true semimonogamous love, the beautiful unicorn.”

“Hmm,” Gary said. “I can’t help but notice that you gave yourself top billing there.”

“Well, yes,” Kevin said. “I don’t know if you heard, but a star dragon said that I’m one of the, if not the most important, parts of a millennia-old prophecy.”

“Riiiiight,” Gary said. “But I still don’t think that makes your name before mine.”

“Dear,” Kevin said, a little curl of smoke coming out of his right nostril. “You’re embarrassing me in front of all these people. Maybe we can discuss this later?”

“Oh, really?” Gary said, eyes narrowing. “I’m sorry I’m such an embarrassment to you.”

“Um, guys?” I said. “Maybe now is not the—”

“Fine,” Kevin said, rolling his eyes. “If it’s that big of a deal to you, then you can be first.”

“Oh no,” Gary said mockingly. “I wouldn’t even dream of wanting to take something away from you that is so important and that you obviously deserve. You know. Because of all your accomplishments. After all, I’m not the one that speaks for disabled magical creatures everywhere.”

“How are you disabled?” Kevin asked.

“I don’t have my horn!” Gary shouted at him.

“I don’t think you speak for anyone but yourself,” I said, only to have him glare at me. “Right, mouth shut. I am so not involved.”

“Can’t you see?” Kevin said, clutching a clawed hand to his chest. “You’re letting them tear us apart!”

“No,” Gary said, voice breaking, eyes glittering with tears. “You’re doing that well enough just on your own.”

“Gary sad?” Tiggy said, breath hitching in his chest.

“Oh no,” I whispered.

“I am so sad!” Gary wailed. “My dragon lover thinks his name should be first!”

“I sad too!” Tiggy yelled, gathering Gary up in his arms and rocking him back and forth. “Sam! Be sad with us!”

“Godsdammit,” I muttered, taking a step toward them.

“What are you doing?” Ryan asked, grabbing me by the arm. “We have to deal with this.”

“Bro-code,” I said. “Bros before hoes. Sorry, babe.”

“I am not a ho.”

I patted him on the hand. Poor guy. Denial was a terrible thing.