A Deep and Dark December(23)

“Come over tomorrow. Your father wants to see you.”

Keith opened the bedroom door. “Dinner’s ready.”

Erin held up a finger for Keith to wait. “I’ll stop by after work,” she told her aunt.

“Bye, chicken. Take care of yourself.”

“You, too, Auntie. Bye.”

Erin ended the call and got up from the edge of her bed, smiling at Keith through her new worries. “I’m starving. What are we having?”

“Meatloaf sandwiches. I thought you could use some comfort food.”

“Sounds good.” She walked into his arms, needing more comfort than food could give her.

He smoothed a hand down her hair. “I have some vacation time coming. Why don’t we take a few days and go somewhere? We could go up to Santa Cruz or down to Los Angeles.”

She pulled back to look up at him. “I just started my job. I can’t take time off right now.” He had nice hazel eyes with no wicked dark ring like Graham’s. Where did that thought come from?

“We could leave on a Friday after work and come back Sunday,” he continued to press. “I’d really like to take some time, just the two of us. What do you say?”

She knew what he was getting at, what he wanted. He wanted to take things to a level she wasn’t sure she was ready for. The panic started as a low hum, a tightening in her chest. She pressed her face to his shirt and closed her eyes. She could do this. She should do this. It was normal for girlfriends to want to have sex with their boyfriends. They’d been dating long enough that his suggestion wasn’t out of the norm. Except she couldn’t seem to drum up any excitement for it. He was handsome, attractive. Everyone thought so. What was wrong with her? Why wasn’t she sexually attracted to him?

Maybe if she just gave it a try, the attraction would come. His heart beat as steady as he was and she found herself agreeing.

“Yes. Okay.”

He tightened his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll make the arrangements. Would you like me to surprise you?”

“I’d like that. I like surprises.” She needed someone like him and his normal.

He turned them and guided her toward the kitchen. “Then it’s all set. Come and eat your dinner. Later we’ll watch some TV or a movie.”

She sat down at her small kitchen table. Keith sat across from her. He seemed a little lighter, a little happier. If only she could feel the same. Maybe this vacation would be good for them. She tried to concentrate on the meal and the company, but by the time Keith looked up from his empty plate she’d only eaten half her food and couldn’t remember what it tasted like or what they’d been talking about.

“Maybe we should skip that movie,” he said.

“I’m sorry. I’m not very good company tonight.”

He reached across the table and grabbed her hand, squeezed. “I’ve been trying to distract you, but I can see it’s not working.”

“I know you have and I appreciate it.”

“I really like you, Erin.”

“I like you, too.”

“Do you?”

She put her other hand over his and tried for a smile. “Of course I do. I wouldn’t be going away with you if I didn’t.”

He smiled, his shoulders sagging a little in relief.

“I haven’t been a very good girlfriend lately, have I?”

“You’ve been busy with your new job. I understand. And then with what happened today… You’ve been through a lot.”

“Thanks again for coming to get me. That was very thoughtful of you.”

“I’m always thinking of you.” He leaned in and gave her a kiss.

“Tell me about your day.”

“Nothing to tell.” He pulled his hand from hers and stood. “How about dessert? I got the last piece of butter cake from the Do or Dine.”

She watched him walk to the refrigerator. He moved with a confident, long-legged grace that had attracted her from the start. He bent over to look into the refrigerator and she was hurled out of her kitchen and dropped into another kitchen. The walls were painted a sunny yellow with a sunflower border. Erin blinked in the sudden brightness. A blueberry pie cooled on the counter, so fresh out of the oven she could smell it.

An older woman Erin recognized as Keith’s mother sat at the kitchen table, shucking peas. “I still don’t see why it matters. You should just go along as you have been.”

Keith pulled his head out of the refrigerator with a can of soda in his hand. He was wearing his Lucky’s Bag N Save apron, white button-up shirt and black slacks. His hair was a little longer than it was now. “It’ll matter to Erin, so it matters to me.”

“Your father isn’t going to like this.”

“I know.”

His mother sighed, took the bowl from her lap, and set it on the table with a thunk. “You’re going to be stubborn about this, I can see.”

“As stubborn as you.”

“Yes, well. You didn’t get all my best traits.” Keith’s mother wiped her hands on a kitchen towel, keeping her gaze on her task. “You’re sure you’re the responsible party?”

Keith straightened from where he’d been slouching against the refrigerator. “What kind of thing is that to say?”