A Darker Past (The Darker Agency #2)(28)

He stepped away from the desk and fell back onto the couch. “Damien warned me it would probably happen, and since he’s sure I was tainted by Wrath, that it would be bad. But weeks went by and there was nothing. I thought he was just wrong.”

“And then it started.”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “Obviously it’s not just anger.”

“That kiss in the park…”

“That was hardly just a kiss,” he said, gaze hungrily zeroing in on my lips. “It was me losing control.”

Oh God. Please do it again…

“Yeah, but that’s the kind of slip in control I could get behind.” I meant it to lighten his mood, but judging by his scowl, it had the opposite effect, so I amended. “And technically, I was as much to blame as you.” I flashed back to my not-so-smooth butt/hand move and cringed.

He didn’t seem to notice. “I was fused with Wrath because, in the deepest recesses of my heart, there was darkness. It’s clear now that I will never be rid of it, and unlike Damien’s theory that Wrath tainted me, the truth is, the stain was always there.”

When I reached out to touch his face, he smacked my hand away, and I couldn’t help it. I flinched.

Lukas backed away, horrified. “I am dark, Jessie. Perhaps I was always meant to become a demon.”

I tried not to let his correlation between dark and demon bug me. “Lukas…” I tried to grab his hand, but he yanked it away.

He backed toward the door, gaze never leaving mine. I took a single step, but he threw out his hands. “Don’t. I don’t want you to follow me. Just let me be for now. I need to figure this out. After you—I need to decide what I want.”

He turned and left, and I couldn’t breathe. What he was saying was, if this life was what he wanted.

If I was what he wanted.





Chapter Eleven


Mom came home a couple hours later, having had as much luck with Paulson as Lukas and I had with the books. Zip. His ghost friends hadn’t heard anything, but promised to keep their incorporeal ears to the ground. Dad had made a quick trip back to the Shadow Realm to check out a lead, leaving us to work on some of the backed-up paperwork I’d been slacking on.

“When is Lukas getting back?” Mom didn’t look up from the bills, and I could tell whatever was on her mind, it was stressing her out. There wasn’t a gray hair anywhere on the woman’s head, but she had worry lines across her forehead. Told me I put them there, too, which was completely unfair.

I was only to blame for half of them. Three quarters at the most.

I’d debated telling her about Lukas since we’d sat down. She really didn’t need another thing to worry about right now. But on the other side of that same coin, she needed to know the deal. She didn’t have to know what he’d said when he left. Just the basic facts. I popped a cherry tomato into my mouth. “He, um…”

She looked up from her work and tapped the side of her head with her red pen. “What happened?”

I faked insult. “Why do you assume something happened? Maybe I wanted to chat with my mom about, ah…”

“What happened?” she repeated, setting the pen down.

“Did you know Dad used to be human?” It just sort of spilled out.

She didn’t seem the least bit surprised. “I knew. Yes.”

Of course she knew. Duh. “Do you know how he became a demon?”

“It’s not a topic that’s ever come up. I know your father doesn’t like to talk about it. I’ve never pushed.”

That’s where we differed. Me? I would have pushed. “Well, I can tell you. It’s simple. All it takes is a little death and some demon blood.”

“Okay…” It took a second, but when she understood what I meant, her eyes grew wide. “Demon blood—are you saying Lukas—”

I shook my head. “Not yet. But that stuff Dad said about demonic tendencies? They’re not so much tendencies as, well, realities. Lukas is turning into a demon.”

“Are you sure?”

“Dad told me. We talked the other night. Lukas has been… I think he’s having a hard time with it.”

“A hard time? Why do you think that?”

“I asked him why he didn’t tell us. He got kinda upset.”

Mom sighed and picked up the pen again. Jabbing it at me, she said, “Did you ever think he might have a reason for not telling us?” She leveled her gaze at me. “For not telling you?”

She knew me too damn well. “He did, and it’s a totally bogus one.”

Mom leaned back and folded her arms. “That’s your opinion.”

“But I’m right.” Actually, she was right, but I wasn’t ready to concede. “He didn’t want me to look at him differently. That’s crap.”

“Explain to me how that’s crap.”

“Because I’m half demon? Why would I go all judgey about him becoming one? That’s stupid.”

Annoyance crept into her expression. “Not everyone thinks like you do. You can’t be so pushy, Jessie. He would have told you when he was ready.”

“How do you know?”

That got me a good stare down. “We are talking about Lukas, right?”