A Closed and Common Orbit (Wayfarers #2)(98)

Oouoh leaned back against the counter and smoked his pipe as Jane tore through the cupboard. Would she get in trouble for this? Would the cook be mad? She didn’t care. How could she care when there was a whole pantry full of new experiences with names like chokevine and roasting blend and kulli paste? She couldn’t, was the answer. She wanted to taste everything in there. She wanted to do it until her mouth went numb.

She stood in front of the cupboard, jars on the floor around her, palms coated with multicoloured dust. She wasn’t sure if it was the redreed or something she’d swallowed or what, but in that moment, she could feel a bridge stretching between her as she was right then – giggling and gasping in a spaceship kitchen – to her at four years old, sucking algae gunk from her nails in the dark. She felt as though she could reach out to that little girl and pull her through the years. Look, she’d say. Look who you’re gonna be. Look where you’re gonna go.

Jane let out a sob she hadn’t known was there. Oouoh sat up with a start. ‘Oh – oh, what the f*ck,’ he said. ‘Shit, let’s get you to the med ward, come on—’

Jane stared at him. ‘What? Why? I’m fine.’

‘Uh, no, you’re . . . your eyes are leaking.’

Jane laughed, which was hard to do while crying. ‘No, no, this’ – she sniffed hard – ‘it’s just tears. It’s okay.’

Oouoh was distraught. ‘What about this is okay?’

‘We do this. Humans do this when – when we’re feeling a lot of things.’

‘You leak?’

‘I guess. I’m okay, really. I’m fine.’

The Laru shifted his jaw back and forth. ‘All right. That’s f*cking creepy, but all right.’ He rubbed the length of his neck, smoothing the fur down. ‘What are you feeling? Are you upset?’

‘I don’t know,’ Jane said. ‘This is all . . . it’s just a lot. All of this is a lot.’

Oouoh considered. ‘Is your species . . . I mean, are you okay with touching? Y’know, physical contact?’

Jane nodded, tears still flowing steady.

Oouoh took a step forward and wrapped one of his big arms around her, pulling her close to his chest. He wrapped his neck around her, too, which was strange, but it wasn’t so different from another arm. He squeezed, gently, and Jane hung on tight, more grateful for that weird alien hug than she’d been for anything in a long time.

‘You’re okay now,’ Oouoh said as Jane cried into his fur. ‘You’re okay.’





SIDRA


Tak sat on the floor, leaning against the doorway that led into the core chamber. ‘So,’ she said. ‘This is you.’

‘No,’ Sidra said. ‘This is the core. It’s not me. It’s just where most of my processes are taking place. For the time being, it’s . . . it’s my brain, I guess.’

‘And the rest of your processes are . . .?’

‘Spread throughout the ship. You know how this works.’

‘Right,’ Tak said. ‘Right.’ She shifted her weight, not for the first time. Was she nervous? Afraid? Uncomfortable? Her red-speckled cheeks could’ve been all of the above. ‘It’s a weird thought, knowing we’re . . . walking through you.’

Sidra sighed. ‘You’re walking through the ship. I’m just—’

‘Everywhere. I know. I get it. Are you . . . okay? How is this for you?’

‘This is what I was designed for.’

‘I get that. But is this . . . better?’

Sidra wanted to say yes. There were a lot of reasons to say yes. But even though she could lie now, she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Why? What could possibly be missing? She had Linking access, which was nothing short of blissful. The shuttle was much smaller than the sort of craft she was intended for, but size didn’t matter in the face of cameras, voxes, an outer hull. The low hum of unease she’d been carrying every day since the Wayfarer was gone now. Her pathways were still and clear. This was the configuration she was meant be in, the existence she’d been longing for.

How could this not be better?

Tak took Sidra’s silence in stride. ‘You know, as far as secret stowaway plans go—’

‘This was not the best?’

Her friend chuckled. ‘Not really. Though I admire the guts it took.’ She glanced around. ‘How do I . . . it feels odd, talking to you without looking you in the eye.’

‘I know you’re talking to me. But if it makes you feel better, you can look here.’ She wiggled the nearest camera, zooming in and out quickly so that Tak could hear it.

Tak looked directly at the camera, inner eyelids sliding sideways. ‘No offence, but this is odd, too. It’ll take some getting used to, at least.’

Pepper entered, surprising Tak, but not Sidra, who had seen her lingering in the corridor, assessing whether or not to join them. ‘It was easier with Owl,’ Pepper said, sitting opposite from Tak. ‘The shuttle had vid panels above the voxes. She’d display a face when she was talking to me.’

‘What’d she look like?’ Tak asked.

‘Just . . . standard Human,’ Pepper said. ‘Not realistic. Just this sort of outline, y’know? Like a drawing. And it was set against shifting colours.’ She nodded at Tak. ‘You would’ve hated it.’