A Beautiful Lie (Playing with Fire #1)(130)

So now she stood alone in the house of her childhood facing the first nightmare. Almost everything in the house had changed since she’d last been there: new couch, new carpet, new paint on the walls, different appliances, and a big screen television mounted above the fireplace. The only thing that remained the same was the chair, her father’s favorite chair. It looked as if someone sat in it one more time it would crumble into a pile of rubble on the floor.

The air smelled faintly of her father’s cologne and lemon furniture polish, the same smells she would always attribute to this house.

Parker walked slowly over to her father’s chair and sat down. It seemed like a lifetime ago since she sat on her father’s lap and watched scary movies with him in this chair. Considering everything that happened in her life since she had left home, it almost was the span of an entire life.

The guilt overwhelmed her when she thought of all the wasted years she spent being angry at her father. If she would have only been a bigger person and tried to contact him at some point maybe it would never have come to this, sitting in the empty house of her childhood, mourning a man she knew nothing about.

Parker leaned back into the chair and let the well-worn fabric and soft cushions envelop her. She looked to her left and saw a framed photo of her mother from her wedding day―the same picture her father had hugged to his body and silently wept over for months after her mother had died. Parker reached over and lifted the eight by ten frame off of the end table to bring it closer. The action caused an envelope that was propped up against the frame to fall flat onto the table. Parker rested the frame in her lap and picked up the envelope. In her father’s small, block-lettered print was her name.

Parker’s breath caught in her throat, and she blinked back tears as she ran her fingertips over her name. She quickly turned the envelope over and ripped it open.



Dear Annabelle:

If you’re here in the house and you’ve found this letter, I’m either dead or hell has frozen over. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess I’m dead.



Parker laughed through her tears at her father’s blunt words.



You know I’m not good with stuff like this, but you deserve answers. So I’m going to give them to you. I made so many mistakes where you were concerned. I look back at my behavior after the funeral, and I’m ashamed. When I realized what I’d done and that I needed to do everything I could to make you forgive me, there was a leak in the CIA and Fernandez found out I was the one who’d been handling the case to try and bring him down. The only thing I could think about was how to keep you safe. He knew I had a daughter and that we were estranged. I knew if I tried to contact you at all, Fernandez would know and he would turn his focus on you as a way to get to me. I depended on Fernandez believing I hated you so he could never use you that way. In my obsession to keep you safe, I truly believed coercing you to join the CIA would be the best option. It would give you the absolute best connections and Fernandez would know that if he did anything to harm you, a CIA agent and the daughter of the man in charge of his case, he would be the first person they would blame. The photos you were given of me all beat to hell? Those cuts and bruises were courtesy of Fernandez’s men, not the Capuano mob. We knew that showing you those pictures and coming up with a story about me being in debt was the only way to make you believe I was truly in danger. I’m so sorry for all of the lies. I’m sorry for bringing you into a life you never wanted. I hope you know it was always, ALWAYS to protect you.



I want you to know, I was never far away. I watched you grow into the amazing woman you are now from afar so it never endangered you. I was at your college graduation, I saw every photo you ever took, and I reviewed the notes from every mission you were involved with. You have made me so proud, Annabelle.



When the notes came across my desk that you were assigned to the Fernandez case, I panicked. Never in a million years did I ever think you’d be put on the same case and led right to him. I suddenly realized that bringing you into the CIA never protected you at all. It only gave Fernandez more access to you and insider information on the CIA’s investigations.



As soon as I found out, I demanded to get back on active duty and began putting all of my time into researching Fernandez. Just yesterday we uncovered information about Milo that made us believe he is still alive and working for Fernandez. I knew you were in the Dominican to find out what happened to Milo. I have to warn you. I refuse to let anything happen to you. My flight to the Dominican leaves in two hours so if this letter is in your hands right now, I won’t feel bad at all about dying so long as you’re safe.



I always thought your mother was the love of my life—my everything. The day she died, I wanted to die right along with her. I wish more than anything that I could go back in time and change things. I should have done better by you. I should have been the father you deserved. I should have loved you better. The truth is, you’re mother wasn’t the love of my life, not really. She was my wife, and I always have and always will love her. But you, my Annabelle, my daughter, YOU are the love of my life.



Be happy, Anna. Take the time to enjoy life, never take anything for granted, and do the exact opposite of what your old man’s done.



I love you. Always.



Dad