A Beautiful Lie (Playing with Fire #1)(12)

Ever since the knock on her door the other morning, she’d tried not to dwell on the “accident” they said Milo had been in. But the more she thought about it, everything that went on during the last several months made her doubt everything she’d been told. Milo had been involved in something dangerous. She knew that deep inside her soul. Something was eating away at him, making him secretive and scared and angry. Parker never told Garrett about all of the fights they were having and how angry Milo got when he found her in his office before he left on his final mission. She felt like a fool that the one man she was supposed to trust with her life didn’t trust her in return.

“The military said it was an accident, so it was an accident. What would make you question that?” Garrett asked.

She hated keeping something like this from Garrett but it wasn’t the time to bring up Milo’s flaws. Garrett had always been Milo’s champion. It never seemed like the right time to tell Garrett that his best friend had been far from perfect. His funeral definitely wasn’t the right time either.

“No reason. I just wondered what you thought. Forget I even asked,” Parker replied, turning around to face Garrett.

“Milo never mentioned anything to me about this mission or what it entailed. The last time I talked to him before he died, he never said anything was awry over there. It was an accident. These things happen all the time. You know that.”

Garrett wasn’t about to mention to Parker that the last time he spoke to Milo, he barely recognized his best friend’s voice. Milo had always been a jokester, a happy guy who never failed to make him laugh by saying something stupid. Garrett couldn’t remember ever having a really serious discussion with him - until that phone call. Milo was scared. And he had told Garrett that if something happened to him, it wouldn’t be an accident. Milo had ended the cryptic phone call before Garrett could grill him on what the hell he had been talking about.

He had known damn well Milo’s death wasn’t an accident, but it certainly hadn't been the time to tell Parker. She didn’t need one more thing to worry about. He would handle it on his own and hopefully never have to involve her.



Standing there in front of Garrett right then, it hit her that he'd been keeping things from her—very important things.

The fact that she had her own secrets, her own little white lies she weaved into every day conversation to keep the truth from those she loved, didn’t matter. That was different. She didn’t have a choice.

“What do you mean when you first heard about it? How long have you known this might be a possibility?” she demanded.

Garrett looked away, unable to stand the anguish in her voice and on her face knowing that what he said next would only make it worse.

“I found out they were planning on looking into the mission five months ago.”

After several long, quiet minutes, Garrett finally looked at her and didn't like what he saw. She was pissed. At him.

"Don't. Don't do this, Parker. You know damn well there is information that as a civilian, you aren't privy to."

"Fuck you, Garrett!" Parker spat. "I'm not just some civilian. I'm your best friend and he was my..."

Parker trailed off and the sound of the ocean waves just below her condo echoed around them.

"Say it," Garrett growled. He moved closer to her. Every time he was near her, he forgot what they were to each other for just a brief moment. Garrett needed her to punch him back to reality with a good swift kick to the proverbial nuts.

"The love of your life, the man you were going to marry...finish the sentence, Parker."

She clenched her hands into fists, so angry she could scream. She should just say what he wants to hear and wipe that smug look off his face, but she couldn't.

Garrett did this to her all the time. He pushed and then he pulled back. He got close and then he walked away. He was hot and cold and she never knew which end was up or where she stood with him.

Parker loved Milo, but not like she should have. She never called him the love of her life, and it would feel foreign to do so now that he was gone. People liked to glorify the relationship they had with someone after they were gone. They liked to make it sound better than it actually was, maybe to ease the pain in their heart and keep the memory of that person alive. The death of Milo had the opposite effect on Parker. Now that he was gone, all of their differences, all of their problems, and every time he caused her pain became glaringly obvious.

Parker took a step back from Garrett, and he wanted to hit something. He hated that he had to be a dick to her right now but it was necessary.

He never told her that he always had suspicions about Milo’s death, and it was a shitty move telling her it was classified information. She wasn’t an idiot, and she wouldn’t buy it for a minute, but he didn’t know what else to do.

"Have you been suspicious all this time? Every time you told me I shouldn’t worry about it, were you lying to me? You think you're just going to fly out there and get all the answers and that will make everything better? It's not going to bring him back, Garrett."

"I know that. Don't you think I f*cking know that?” Garrett yelled. “I want the truth. I want to know that whoever did this to him is going to pay. I want to stop going to bed every night feeling guilty I wasn't f*cking there for him when he needed me."