Zodiac (Zodiac, #1)(70)
“Please, you needn’t bow,” I say, reaching out to them for the hand touch instead. “And please, call me Rho.”
It’s clear Mathias gets most of his features from Amanta, his mother, who’s tall, pale, and blonde. The wavy dark hair comes from his father, Egon. They seem happy beyond words to see their son . . . but there’s also a deep sadness that’s impossible to ignore. They’ve just lost their daughter in the attack.
When their eyes land on Hysan, he says, “I’m the chauffeur.”
I have to look to make sure it’s him speaking. There’s no attempt at magic in his voice, and sunlight is even missing from his features.
He meets my gaze and tries to muster some of his usual liveliness, but it seems forced. For the first time, charm fails him. “It’s late, and I should find lodging at the Libran embassy. I’ll see you tomorrow, my lady.”
“You can stay—”
“I shouldn’t.” The moment he leaves the lobby, he vanishes from sight. He must have slipped on his collar.
Mathias’s parents usher us toward their private quarters. As he fills them in on the highlights of our journey, my mind lingers on Hysan. I wonder who hugged him when he had nightmares as a child. Who waits for him when he comes home from his travels. Whose faces he sees when he thinks of his people.
As Cancrians, caring after our loved ones is our top priority. When Mom left, it caused ripples through our whole community. Broken families are rare on Cancer, runaway mothers unheard of.
But I had Stanton and Dad. I can’t even imagine what it’d be like to have no one.
“My parents are helping with the resettlement,” Mathias tells me, after they’ve gone to bed. I’m staying in their guestroom, and Mathias is going to sleep in the den, but for now, we’re both on the hammock in my room, talking.
“They’re negotiating with other Houses for temporary housing and food. My dad’s trying to establish an orphanage.”
An orphanage. Is that where Hysan was raised by the robot Miss Trii? Is that where generations of Cancrian and Virgo children will be raised after Ochus’s attacks?
“Rho?”
Mathias’s deep, calming voice brings me back to tonight. “Sorry.” I muster a small smile. “Life has been upside down for so long that things like parents and sleeping in a bedroom now feel alien.”
“I know what you mean,” he says, a dark lock falling into his eye. His Zodai-style haircut has grown out.
Amanta put our clothes in the refresher and lent us outfits to sleep in. I’m wearing one of Egon’s old shirts—it falls a little higher than my knees, and the neckline slings across my shoulder. Mathias is in a pair of sweats and no shirt. Every time he moves, the lines of his chest and arms readjust, and I can almost see the muscles working beneath his skin.
When the impulse to touch him grows louder than my thoughts, I ask, “Can I borrow your Wave?” Mine is still locked up, in case Ophiuchus can activate the tutorial Ephemeris.
I use Mathias’s Wave to try to reach Dad and Stanton, but I can’t get through. I know they’ve most likely lost theirs, but I keep hoping I’ll see them on the other end of the line. “I’ll ask the embassy to try locating them tomorrow,” says Mathias soothingly.
“Thanks.” I Wave Nishi’s Tracker next, but she doesn’t answer. No one is going to rescue me from being alone with Mathias, and Mathias’s muscles, and Mathias’s silence.
Earlier, we took turns showering, and it was amazing to feel real water on my skin and hair again. While I dried my curls, Mathias cleaned the gunk off his boots; and now, in spite of my protests, he’s doing the same with mine. He looks so serious, drawing his eyebrows together as he works bits of mud from the seams. The careful movements of his hands make me ache with guilt.
Before we got to Virgo, when he walked in on Hysan and me, he told me to remember who I am. Even though I’m still figuring it out, there are things I already know. Like I know I’m not a liar, and I don’t like secrets.
I shouldn’t have kept Hysan’s snooping from Mathias. Not because it was a big deal—I’m sure Hysan didn’t take anything—but because it’s not who I am. Mathias was right to refuse the veil collars from the start of our journey. We may have to fight, but we can’t lose sight of what we’re fighting for.
How are we saving Cancer if we lose our Cancrian values in the process?
“Rho, about your speech to the Plenum,” says Mathias, pausing to wipe the toe of my boot even though it’s already clean. “Maybe you shouldn’t mention Ophiuchus.”
Everything down to the thoughts in my head freezes. “What do you mean?”
He turns the boot over to inspect the heel. “The ambassadors will be hard to convince. I just think you might do better by sticking to facts you can prove, for now.”
The room darkens, as if someone’s dimmed the lights. “You don’t believe me. Still. After Virgo, after all you’ve seen.”
“Make your case about the Psy attack,” he says, his tone pleading. “You can prove that with the ship’s log, and Moira will back you. Why bring in a children’s story when you don’t have to? You know it makes people tune out.”
I can’t believe Mathias is asking me to lie. After everything he’s said about Hysan, now he’s telling me to be exactly like him. To lie to my people for their own good.