Zodiac (Zodiac, #1)(35)
“Slow down,” says Mathias, cupping my shoulder firmly. “What—”
“I can’t slow down. He’s going to strike Virgo and Gemini next.”
“Who?”
“Ophiuchus.”
Mathias’s expression settles into an uneasy grimace, but I refuse to see it.
I describe everything I saw in the Ephemeris: the Dark Matter around Virgo and Gemini, the voice inside Helios, the phantom made of ice and wind . . . but I hold back his death threat. Mathias—I mean, my Advisors—will never let me go if they know someone’s trying to . . . to murder me.
“I have to warn them,” I say, shaking my head to refuse the desk chair he pulled out for me. He keeps his hand on my shoulder, and it feels like the only thing anchoring me to the ground. “I can’t wait another moment—”
“Rho, settle down.”
The soothing quality of Mathias’s voice is different from what it was when I showed up. The more upset I get, the calmer he becomes. This is going exactly how I didn’t want it to.
I take a few breaths and make my voice as even and sane-sounding as I can. “Please, Mathias, I’m asking you to trust me—”
“Where did you leave your shoes?” The way he asks the question, it’s clear he isn’t listening.
The fact that being barefoot makes me less trustworthy to Mathias is so ridiculous that I’m suddenly angry. The current of emotion takes control of my vocal cords, and I can’t hold my feelings back. “I know you don’t think I should have been made Guardian.”
His whole face slackens like it’s been slapped. Even Nishi edges along the wall, like she doesn’t want to be contaminated by the conversation. What I’m going to say next will only make it worse, but even if it costs me his friendship—a friendship I fought hard to earn—I can’t let Mathias ignore my warnings. Not if it means more people will die.
“You thought it should have been you.”
His face flushes dark and he backs away, letting his hand fall off my shoulder. “We each have our duty, Guardian.” His voice comes out low and taut. “I know mine.”
My heart hammers its dissent to what I’ve done. I want to take back what I said and beg his forgiveness. But there are too many lives in my hands to stop and worry about my own.
“If that’s true,” I say, “then as your Guardian, I’m asking—I’m begging—you to trust me. Nishi, could you show him your files?”
She unpeels herself from the wall and goes through all the literature with him on her Tracker. The whole time, Mathias reads the red holograms with stony eyes, and I realize I’ve gone about this wrong. Angry Mathias is no better than skeptical Mathias.
“If Ophiuchus is immortal, why haven’t we heard from him before?” he asks. “Why has he waited all this time to get his vengeance?” His hardened tone means I won’t get anywhere with him fast.
I glance up at the ceiling, half expecting Ophiuchus to blow it apart and send us floating into soundless Space. Every minute, he gets closer to his next attack. Time for plan B.
“Mathias, it’s fine if you don’t believe me, but I need you to find me a ship. Something with an autopilot that even someone who’s never flown could fly.”
He snaps his gaze from me to Nishi, gauging how serious I am by her reaction. When she doesn’t contradict me, Mathias turns and pours me a glass of water from the carafe near his bed. “You’ve been up too many hours, Rho. This was an emotional night, and you’re not thinking straight.”
I brush off the glass he offers me. “You’re not hearing me! I’m going to change into my compression suit, and by the time I return, I need a ship. I’m leaving immediately.”
“Take it easy.” Mathias sets down the water and digs into a bin. He pulls out a pair of socks. “Sit down.”
“No.”
He pivots me around by the shoulders and pushes me down on the bed.
“Mathias, stop—” My protest dies in my throat when he kneels and starts sliding the socks on my feet. His hands are warm and gentle, and when he’s done, he meets my gaze. His blue eyes are soft, and I know this time I’m looking at my friend, and not the Zodai who doubts me.
“Please say you believe me, Mathias.”
He doesn’t look away, and as I watch the transformation in his eyes again, I realize the person Mathias is fighting is himself. Like me, he wants so much for us to be on the same side in every situation.
But we’re not.
“I believe that you believe,” he whispers.
The thing I’d been trying to avoid since being named Guardian is now unavoidable. I will always have Mathias’s allegiance and protection . . . but I don’t have his trust.
“Let’s consult Admiral Crius,” he says, standing up.
“We don’t have time,” I argue, also rising. “He’ll laugh in my face.”
Mathias starts moving his lips, conversing through the Psy, and I wring his hands in panic. “Stop! Ochus is in there. He’ll hear you.”
“All right. Relax. I’ll use my Wave.” With a patient sigh, Mathias takes the clam from his pocket, unfolds it, and calls my three most senior Advisors. I hope this way is Ochus-proof.
Ten minutes later, Crius, Agatha, and the holographic Dr. Eusta meet us in the lecture hall. I’ve changed into my skintight black compression suit, my Wave and the black opal in my pocket. I pick up my Ring from the floor and stuff it in with the rest.