Wolves' Bane (The Order of the Wolf, #3)(23)
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, not really sure what I was doing to cause so much trouble. The psychic had told me that I was marked for death. Maybe the reason Kelly couldn’t read me was because I didn’t have a future. I opened my mouth to tell Andrew about the psychic’s warning when he raised his hand to me and motioned for silence.
Moments later he smiled. “She says that I need to reassure you now…that as usual, I’ve blundered the intro. She says she’s really happy that you’ve agreed to come to visit. That her not being able to see your future is not your fault, and”—his smiled widened—“I’m sorry if I made you feel like it was.”
I shook my head and waved his apology away.
“She also wants me to tell you that she can sense your frustration and hesitation to commit to Cal. She wants you to know that she didn’t mess up that part of her prophesy. You and Cal are meant to be together. You are his Huntress. She knows that you can feel a connection to him and she wants you to try not to hold back. Live with your heart.”
My temper flared, my face flushed, but I tamped it back down. The last thing I needed was to freak out all over this helpless invalid. “But Cal won’t—”
“Cal doesn’t want to get hurt and he doesn’t want to hurt you. Kelly says that’s classic, isn’t it? Classic macho man stuff.” He shrugged as he looked back down at her. “She says that you could change that if you wanted.”
I scoffed. “Like convince him to love me?” I shook my head. “This is the craziest situation. I don’t even know you people. I hardly know Cal.” I laid my hand over my heart. “I feel something for him that I can’t explain, and I’m so angry that he doesn’t want to give it back to me. That he’s denying his feelings. It’s insulting, and whether or not he wants to hurt me, rejecting me, treating me like a whore does hurt.” I raised my hand to halt Andrew’s protest, then tapped my fingers over my heart again. “I can see, I can feel, that he’s denying his feelings and I know that he’s not totally lying to me. He really doesn’t want to hurt me. But he’s also holding something back. I don’t know what exactly, but I can feel it. He’s not being completely honest.” I ran my hand through my hair. “It’s all so bizarre. There’s no such thing as instant love or love at first sight, but sometimes I feel…oh, well, it’s just stupid, it doesn’t exist. It isn’t real.”
Andrew raised his gaze to meet mine. “Before yesterday, did you think there was such a thing as werewolves?”
I frowned. “It’s not the same thing.”
Andrew nodded. “There’s magic here, Morgan. A legacy that you don’t understand, that you won’t understand until you are bonded and become the Huntress. I know that it seems too difficult now, but after the bonding, it will all be easy. Your strength, your knowledge, your powers will all meld together, and it will just…make sense.” He sighed. “I know that Cal seems like a total * for telling you that he can’t develop feelings for you. I also know that he has good reasons for doing it. But those reasons are for him to tell you, not me.” He shrugged. “Kelly thinks it’s not going to matter in the end. She thinks that Cal will do what is right no matter what. She thinks men are stupid sometimes…she wanted me to tell you that, those exact words.” He smirked. “She also wanted me to tell you that Cal doesn’t trust himself, but Kelly trusts in him to do the right thing.”
I stared back at Andrew as he grew quiet and closed his eyes once again, sensing a double meaning behind his words. Everyone in this place speaks in riddles. He’ll do the right thing. What the eff does that mean?
When Andrew opened his eyes again, he leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss on Kelly’s forehead. I felt pity for their situation. Pity mingled with something else, something like longing. Andrew clearly loved this woman, loved her with all of his heart. He didn’t deny his feelings for her no matter what the cost, no matter how much it pained him or how much he lost. I envied that. I wanted a man to look at me the way Andrew looked at Kelly, even with her being unmoving and physically unavailable. I wanted that kind of unconditional love and I wouldn’t accept anything less.
“Cal might have his reasons,” I said. “He might be lying to himself or not trust himself, but I’ve learned something in my life that I will not forget. Men cannot be changed. They cannot be made to feel something that they don’t want to feel. I’m not going to have sex with him out of duty or as some lusty byproduct of bonding with him. I deserve better than that and with all due respect, if Kelly was any kind of oracle, she would see that from a mile away. I will not bond with Cal, not while there’s a chance of anything more happening between us, not while he’s denying the possibility of anything more developing. I don’t need to have sex with him.”
Andrew’s smile reminded me of the one my mother had often given me. It was the kind of smile that was meant to placate a whining child. He reached his hand across the bed as he moved down the length of it. “Why don’t we go and see the training facilities. You need to know where they are regardless. You’ll have to start training your body so that you’re in better shape to defend yourself, with or without the bonding.”
I eyed his hand suspiciously, sensing once again that there was some hidden meaning behind his words. His smile widened, losing that parental edge and my reservations slipped away. What harm could there be in visiting the gym? I lowered my guard and slipped my hand into Andrew’s.