Windburn (The Elemental Series #4)(15)

He did as told and I reached up to touch the map over Bismarck with one finger, twisting the armband with my other hand. The world around us slipped away and I was tossed into a memory not my own.

Mother goddess, I kept forgetting about this hiccup of Traveling. As an added perk of having Spirit as one of my elements, whenever I Traveled with another person I was plunged into one of their memories.

I hoped for something from Peta.

I got a memory from Cactus.

The Rim was not as he remembered it. Beautiful, and flowing with plants and green things, that was the same. But the undercurrent reminded him more of the Pit. The feeling that people were afraid, that they didn’t see their home as safe anymore.

He frowned and ran a hand through his hair.

Catching a glimpse of long blonde hair and gently curved hips, he stopped in his tracks. A grin spread over his face. The rest of the world didn’t matter as long as Lark was here with him. Jogging, he tried to catch up with her, but in seconds she was gone.

The barracks. That had to be where she was headed. He made his way there, nodding to the Terralings who looked his way.

“Cactus, I need to speak with you.”

He spun, surprised to see Peta sitting on a log at eye level at the entrance to the barracks. “Bad luck cat, what do you want?”

She grimaced. “That is not my name, Prick.”

“Well, until you stop calling me Prick, that’s what I’m calling you.” Childish, he knew, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.

“You don’t love her the way she needs,” Peta said, shocking him.

“What do you mean? I love her. What else is there?”

Peta shook her head. “You love her, but love isn’t enough. Not with her life. Love is strong, Prick. But your love will not be what her heart needs. And certainly not the love you want to put on her. With expectations and rules and how you want her to be. I see it in you. She is not the woman who will settle down and give you a brood of children.”

He grinned at her, even as he struggled not to let her words affect him. “You don’t know that.”

“You see, you do not even deny my words.”

“Why would I? Of course, I would want to have children with her. That is what you do when you love someone.”

She snorted and started to groom her left paw, wiping it over her ear. “I’m her familiar, Prick. I can feel her heart and her needs. She doesn’t need you.”

Leaning toward her, he lowered his voice. “I don’t want her to need me. I want her to want me.”

Peta put her face so close to his he could feel the breath from her mouth. “Desire is not enough. Love is not enough. She will chose the mate who understands her and can help her through the trials she will face. You are not that one.”

Anger snapped through him and with it the Fire in his blood heated. “I am.”

“You’re not.” She let out a sigh and shook her head. “Go away, Prick. You are not needed here.”

The desire to lash out curled through him and he stepped back toward the forest and away from the barracks. Having Lark see him like this, angry and on the verge of losing control, was not what he wanted. All because of a few words that scared him, and made him think perhaps Peta was right.

He strode away from the barracks. “Stupid cat. You’re wrong. I know you are.”

Yet, he doubted, and in the doubt he wondered if he was chasing a ghost of the girl he’d known. A memory he’d let grow into a fantasy that didn’t mesh with reality.

What if Peta was right?

What if Lark didn’t love him?





CHAPTER 6





jerked out of his memory as we popped through to Bismarck, but the emotions it stirred in me would not leave. Breathing hard, I fought the desperation and loneliness that bled through his memory into my heart. I closed my eyes and tried not to think, tried not to feel the guilt of not loving him the way he wanted me to.

“Hey, you okay there, princess?” He leaned over me, far closer than he should have. I opened my eyes and the blue sky was replaced with green eyes and his trademark grin.

“Yes, I’m fine. And don’t call me that. I’ve never been a princess, and wouldn’t want the title even if it were offered to me.” I pushed on his chest and he gave me some room. In his white T-shirt, jeans, and dark shoes he looked . . . human. I, on the other hand, looked like what I was—an Ender. But I trusted Ash. If he thought I could get away with looking a little different, then that’s what I was doing.

Thoughts of Ash brought the guilt back up in a roll not unlike nausea. I forced the guilt away and stood. I would not feel bad for loving Ash. Peta gave me a nod of approval.

“Why did you really come with me?” I stared at Cactus and he stared back. His face softened.

“I know you love him. I know you love me. I want to show you I fit in your life, Lark. That I’m good for you. The only way to do that is to be here. To be where I should have been all these years. At your side.”

My throat tightened, my ears rang, and I knew he was telling the truth as he saw it. I didn’t think, though, that he’d be happy with what the end result was going to be.

Peta broke the moment. “Let’s find this Reader. Do you know where in Bismarck she is?”

I shook my head as Cactus nodded. “How do you know?”