Wickedly Ever After: A Baba Yaga Novella(17)



“You remember my protégé Babs, Your Majesty,” Barbara said.

A silvery-white eyebrow rose delicately. “Of course I do. I may be thousands of years old, Baba Yaga, but I am hardly senile. I was merely questioning what her presence here has to do with the matter at hand.”

Barbara bowed to take the sting out of what came next. “As you know, Your Majesty, Babs was kidnapped as an infant and stolen from the Human world to be raised in secret in this one, hidden away from all contact with others. As a result, she tends to be curious, literal, and completely honest. In fact, when I thought about it, I could not think of a single lie she had ever told. Neither could Chudo-Yudo, and, as you know, he can always discern lies from truth.”

The Queen blinked. Then she gestured with her fan, indicating that Babs should approach the royals on their makeshift thrones. The girl moved until she was standing right in front of the Queen, gazing up with her usual neutral expression, round brown eyes open wide.

“Do you know who I am, child?” the Queen asked.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Babs said, curtsying the way Barbara had taught her. “You are the Queen of the Otherworld, sovereign of all the paranormal people.”

The Queen nodded, slightly mollified by Babs’s proper manners. “I am going to ask you some questions to test your honesty,” she said. “You will answer to the best of your ability, and We shall see if your Barbara is speaking the truth. Do you understand?”

Babs nodded solemnly. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Very well. Tell me, little one, what do you think of the mate your Baba Yaga mentor has chosen?”

Babs turned around and gazed at Liam for a moment, then turned back to the Queen. “I think that he is very nice, Your Majesty, and very kind to me. I like him. He is my very favorite Human.”

Liam reached over and squeezed Barbara’s hand, his eyes suspiciously bright.

“How charming,” the Queen said in a dry tone. “And what do you think of the Baba Yaga? Is she nice as well?”

Babs thought for a moment, looking back at Barbara. Then she shrugged. “Sometimes she is nice and sometimes she is not nice. She is not fond of fools or idiots and often threatens to kick their asses.” She turned around. “Is that the right word, Barbara? Or is it just the singular, ass?”

Barbara tried not to laugh. “Either one is fine,” she said in a choked voice. “Although under most circumstances, Liam would rather you didn’t say that word, remember?”

“Oh. Right. I am sorry, Liam, I forgot.” Babs did her best to follow Liam’s rules, even though they often made no sense to her.

“That’s okay, honey,” he said. “You’re doing fine.” Out of the corner of her eye, Barbara could see his shoulders shaking.

“So she is not always nice,” Babs went on, doggedly following her instructions. “But she is always kind to me. I like her too. She is my other favorite Human, although she says she is only barely Human on her good days. Which she hardly ever has.”

The court tittered again, only to be hushed when the Queen held up one hand.

“And what do you think of me, little one?” the Queen asked in a deceptively mild tone. “Am I nice?”

Barbara and Liam held their breath. The court was so quiet that when a stray leaf fell to the ground, everyone turned and glared at it until it hopped back onto the tree it had fallen from, turning crimson with embarrassment.

Babs cocked her head to the side, pondering the question. Then slowly, she shook her head. “You are very beautiful. And I have not spent very much time with you, Your Majesty, and Liam and Barbara have told me that it is best not to pass judgment until you know someone well. But I think perhaps you could practice being nicer. Then everyone would not be so afraid of you.” A small flicker of a smile floated over her rosebud lips. “Maybe then you would not be so cranky and everyone would be happier.”

Oh hell. Barbara grabbed Liam’s arm and squeezed it so hard he grunted, but he didn’t protest. All around them, gaily dressed courtiers stood like statues, frozen in place while they waited to see how the Queen would react. A bird overhead was trying so hard to go unnoticed it forgot to fly and fell out of the sky with a soft, reverberating thud onto the soft carpet of earth below.

The Queen looked at Babs and slowly she began to laugh. A ringing sound like chimes spread over the assembled company, joined a second later by a basso counterpoint from the King. Eventually the rest of the court began to laugh too, half from amusement and half from relief. Finally the Queen rose from her seat and put one hand on the child’s narrow shoulder.

“What is that saying they have in your world, Baba Yaga? ‘Out of the mouth of babes’? It would appear that I have gotten the honesty I requested. I do not suppose I can then protest if I do not wholeheartedly embrace the truths therein.” She gave Babs a tiny nudge back in the direction of Barbara and Liam.

When they all stood together again, the Queen straightened her back, all merriment gone. The King rose to stand at her side and together they made a picture of regal splendor.

“I gave you three impossible tasks, Baba Yaga, and you have accomplished them all. I may not always be kind but I am a Queen, and a Queen is always true to Her word.” She snapped her fingers imperiously at a handmaiden and sent her running off in the direction of the castle. Then the Queen stepped forward until she was directly in front of Barbara and Liam.

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