Untouchable Darkness (The Dark Ones Saga, #2)(19)

“YES!” I matched his voice. “Where do you go when shit gets real, Cassius? When life gets too hard. When you’re forced to face your demons.”

“We’re here.”

“We aren’t done discussing this!”

Cassius sighed and pulled the keys from the ignition. “I meant we’re here, here is the place I go to. My home.”

I jerked back and fumbled with the handle to the car door and jumped out of the car.

We were in front of a house.

A giant modern white house, with large bay windows, nestled between at least a dozen or so trees, just feet from the lake.

It was beautiful.

Not what I’d imagine a Dark One living in. “This doesn’t look like you at all.”

“Oh?” Cassius chuckled. “And what did you expect?”

“A cave.” I nodded as the white pristine house caused unwelcome sensations to bubble up within me. This part of Cassius just made me more curious. “Possibly hell.”

“Great,” he said in a low voice. “You think I spend my time in the fiery pits of hell until I’m ordered to go eat small children, is that it?”

I shrugged, technically the shoe fit, not that I’d say it out loud.

He cursed.

As if things had been going well up until this point?

The sound of crunching gravel as he walked away was really the only indicator that Cassius wanted me to follow. I moved slowly behind him as we neared the house. He pulled a key out from under the mat and slid it in the door.

“Clever, nobody would ever look there.” I nodded my head.

Cassius stopped and turned, his blue eyes menacing. “Do you truly think I care if someone steals from me? Or tries to break in? Believe me, it would be more of a nightmare for them, than for me. I’d simply… make sure they ceased to exist.” He snapped his fingers into the air.

“Done it before, have you?” I arched my eyebrows up.

“Once.” Cassius shrugged and moved in through the doorway. “He was at least eighty, I thought it a kindness to further things along, his memory wasn’t well, had no family. I touched him and—”

“—he died?”

“Quickly,” Cassius said smoothly.

“That’s horrible!”

“As opposed to him dying alone in his home? He died with me—an honor I don’t bestow on just anyone.”

I frowned. Is that what was going to happen to me? I’d touch nice old men and decide to steal their lives? As if on cue, a Darkness started spreading throughout my stomach, like a warmth I couldn’t control, and then as soon as it appeared it dissipated like it was never there in the first place.

Unsettling.

I hated feeling out of control.

“You forget.” He turned to face me, his face dazzling beneath the moonlight and stars. “We are better than them. We always will be. That’s not me being cruel or arrogant, it’s a simple fact. The blood that runs through your veins…” His fingertips danced across the pulse point on my wrist. “It’s holy.”

I licked my lips in irritation. The last thing I felt was special—and definitely not holy. “Doesn’t feel that way.”

“You’re part Angel,” he said slowly. “It will never feel the way it’s supposed to simply because you are missing half of the whole. Being a Dark One means being in a constant state of loneliness without any way to alleviate the pain.”

I flinched. Was that what this feeling was? This hollowness in my chest that made me stare like a lunatic at every single human relationship like I was starved for attention? For physical touch?

“Ah…” Cassius nodded knowingly. “You’ve been wondering if something’s wrong with you, am I right?”

I swallowed and broke eye contact unable to bear his scrutiny; he saw too much, even as a human it was like he saw beneath the surface of everything.

“So, you really were at a coffee shop…” He reached out and touched my face. His fingertips were warm. “Watching humans hold hands, laugh, love…” His head tilted to the side, not in a mocking way, almost like he was puzzled. Or maybe I was the puzzle. “Tell me, did it burn?”

“What?” I croaked, how did he know?

“After the hollowness slices open your chest.” He moved closer to me, dropping his hand so that his body was almost pressed against mine. “I used to call it the burn of wanting what I knew I could never have. Humans were created for partnership, companionship. Angels, as you know, are the exact opposite. Thus, the burn, the feeling of being ripped in half. Your Angel blood tells you it’s ridiculous, stupid even, to want what you can’t have, and why it says, why want something so weak when you are who you are, what you are?” His voice broke. “But the human side of you… it longs. It desires.” His forehead touched mine. “Oh… it burns all right. It burns you from the inside out. And the darkness beckons during the burn, it calls.”

“Does it ever go away?” I whispered, completely unnerved by our conversation. I had a sudden urge to itch my chest, to make the burn go away because even then my body was remembering it, like a thirst I couldn’t quench.

He let out a long sigh then backed away from me, away from whatever private moment we were sharing. “It can.”