This Time Tomorrow(46)

“Alice!” Tommy shouted. “We lost you! But now we found you.”

“Your dad’s friends bought us some drinks,” Sam said. “Strong ones.”

“Your mother would not be amused by this, Samantha,” Leonard said. “Okay, guys, I’m going to take you home.”

“Wait,” Alice said. She pulled Sam and Tommy into the room. “My friends, meet Leonard’s friends. I just need to talk to my dad for one second. Sam, don’t barf, okay? I mean, barf if you have to. Howard, can you just talk at them for a little bit?” Howard offered a small bow in acceptance of his task, and Alice pushed her friends farther into the room. She then stepped into the bathroom, flicked on the fluorescent lights, and beckoned for Leonard to join her. Alice pointed for him to shut the door behind him, and he did.

“Dad, I’m actually serious. I know it sounds like a joke, ha ha, yes, but it’s literally true. I came here from the future,” Alice said. “I don’t know how to say it better than that.”

“I heard you the first time.” Leonard folded his arms and looked amused.

“Okay, I can see that you find this funny, which I understand, but you may want to sit down.” Alice turned and put her hands on the edge of the sink. Her dad’s Dopp kit, with his toothbrush and toothpaste and floss and god knew what, was sitting there. Everything was so familiar—all the stupid little objects that she’d seen every day of her childhood, they were all still here. Alice knew that familiarity wasn’t the same as meaning, but she couldn’t help it—everything she saw felt enormous and loaded and heavy. These were her father’s things, the same things that were in the hospital. What would happen to them when Leonard was gone?

Leonard pushed the shower curtain aside and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. He snapped his fingers. “Ready.”

“Yesterday was my fortieth birthday. When I woke up this morning, I was sixteen.”

Leonard let out a loud laugh. “Boy, are you in the right place!”

“Har, har, har,” Alice said, her mouth a flat line. “Dad, I am not joking. I am not a weird dork like you and your friends, no offense. I am serious. This is actually happening.”

Leonard looked at her and said, “Wow, wow, wow,” over and over again. His face made no sense—Leonard was smiling like Alice had just told him the best news in the world. It was the kind of look that Alice assumed parents gave when you told them you were getting married, or having a baby—delighted surprise mingled with a note of their own mortality. Alice didn’t know if he actually believed her or thought that she was pranking him for some reason, but either way, Leonard just seemed happy.

Leonard crossed and uncrossed his legs. “I won’t ask how I’m doing. I’ll just assume that you live with me on Pomander Walk forever, and that we’re both aging beautifully.”

Alice swallowed. “You guessed it.”

“Okay,” Leonard said. “Okay. Let’s get your friends home, and then we can talk.” He stood up, and so did his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Alice stared at him, trying to understand. Maybe he needed hearing aids already—those would come later. Maybe he hadn’t heard a word she’d said. Someone knocked on the door, and Sam pushed it open before they responded.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” she said, and Leonard quickly moved out of the way. Alice watched him slip back into the hotel room, and then lifted the toilet lid and reached for Sam’s hair.





35



Unlike Alice’s friends, who kissed on the way in and out and sometimes in the middle just for fun, Leonard’s friends just waved and moved along, as if they’d all been sitting on a bus.

“Thanks, guys,” Alice said. John would get a good part, one where he actually showed his face, and he’d win big awards, and everyone would say he’d been a hidden gem all the while. Leonard would go with him to the Golden Globes and cry when they said his name. Her father had had good friends. But they were also men, and men weren’t trained to be in charge of their own friendships. Howard had called the hospital, and Chip, but she hadn’t seen or heard from the others in years. People were allowed to outgrow relationships, of course, Alice knew that, but still—there were times when you were supposed to show the fuck up.

“The people here are really weird, Leonard,” Sam said. She was still a little bit wobbly, and leaned against one wall of the hotel while Leonard hailed a cab.

“The people here are awesome,” Tommy said. He walked up to Alice and kissed her on the cheek. “I love it.”

“Okay, party’s over,” Leonard said, and shoved all three of them into the back seat of a taxi, then opened the passenger door for himself.

The radio was on, blasting WCBS-FM, 101.1, the oldies station. The taxi turned up Sixth Avenue and cruised past Radio City Music Hall. Alice closed her eyes again and just listened. Sam was snoring a little bit on one side of her, and on the other Tommy was drumming his fingers on her thigh to the beat of “Bernadette.” He lived the closest—the San Remo was on Central Park West and 74th—and Leonard directed the taxi there first. All the lights were yellow for two blocks, then three blocks, then six blocks in a row, just catching them all.

The cab started to slow down half a block from Tommy’s building, and Alice leaned over. “This is going to sound crazy,” she said. “But marry me. Not now. Not even close to now. Just eventually. After college. Promise me. Okay?” Her voice was low enough and the music loud enough that no one else in the car could hear her. She didn’t even know if Tommy could hear her. She didn’t even know what she was trying to accomplish—more of this, more of sitting together in the back of a taxi, with her healthy dad talking to a cabdriver about how he’d once given Diana Ross a ride. Alice just wanted to push her hands against the walls of her life and see if they would move. She wanted to hit the reset button over and over again until everyone was happy, forever. Tommy looked at her, his brown eyes sleepy, and said, “Okay,” like he was agreeing to apple juice instead of orange juice at the diner, and then he got out of the car and waved. Alice watched as his uniformed doorman, gold buttons shining, pushed open the heavy door and then stood to the side to let Tommy walk in.