The Twice-Scorned Lady of Shadow (The Guild Codex: Unveiled #3)(17)

I didn’t know how to behave around my guildmates, and it turned out I didn’t know what to do with myself around Zak either. I was a complete mess.





Rain drummed on the stable roof as I leaned on a stall door. I wasn’t hiding, per se. I just didn’t want to sit around in my apartment while Zak used my shower. No other reason.

At the other end of the stall, the bay mare I’d examined in the auction pens stood with her ears twitching nervously toward every sound. Dominique had purchased the mare, plus five other horses. A larger rescue had bought another ten, including the piebald gelding who’d shared a pen with the bay mare. I’d last seen the biting buckskin in a large pen packed tight with horses to be loaded on the slaughterhouse trucks.

I exhaled roughly, trying not to think about it. There was nothing else we could do, though the temptation to burn the whole auction operation to the ground was intense. Or better yet, burn down the meat factories.

A swirl of familiar magic brushed across my senses. I turned.

Ríkr’s heavy cloak swished around his legs as he glided sedately down the length of the stable aisle. His white hair shone like moonlight, and his short golden antlers flashed in the harsh fluorescent bulbs overhead.

I blinked at his beautiful, otherworldly face as he stopped in front of me. Blue markings, part of his Undying magic, ran down the left side of his face like shimmering tattoos.

“Dove,” he murmured in his low, even voice.

I blinked again. “Why are you in that form?”

He spread his arms, the wide sleeves of his cloak fluttering. “Does this form displease you?”

“No. And don’t bother fishing for compliments,” I added dryly. “Your ego doesn’t need my help.”

He tucked his hands into the opposite sleeves of his cloak. “You’ve been avoiding me. This seemed the simplest method to ensure your full attention.”

Of course he’d notice I was avoiding him. “Aren’t you supposed to be hiding from other fae?”

“That deception is less crucial now that you’ve claimed this territory. Your dominion over the energies here masks my presence, even in this form.” He arched a fine eyebrow. “But let us not deviate from the topic at hand.”

Leaning against the stable door, I crossed my arms. “And what topic is that?”

He gave me a pointed look.

“Zak’s request,” I muttered. “What do you think?”

“The Gardall’kin’s territory is not one I would enter casually. They maintain an ominous reputation, and the Shadow Court comprises the most powerful and ambitious among them.”

“If they turn on Zak, could you fight them?”

“Fight, yes. Defeat? Not in my current state.” A faint smile brightened his pale azure eyes. “In my prime, I would have enjoyed their cowering obeisance. In this age, however, I am but a crippled old man who likes to reminisce about his glory days.”

“Old man,” I scoffed. His face was ageless and perfect. He didn’t look any older than me.

With the clop of hooves, the bay mare stuck her head through the stall door’s V-shaped opening. Her ears pricked toward Ríkr, her nostrils working as she tried to determine what sort of strange creature he might be.

“That said,” he continued, “they will not needlessly offend me. I am no longer the Winter King, but I remain a Lord of Winter.”

I rubbed the mare’s neck. “And you’re unkillable.”

“An advantage to which we need not forewarn them.”

Turning toward the mare, I picked a bit of straw out of her mane. “What do you think we should do? Should we help?”

“My opinion is of little consequence. What do you wish to do?”

Pursing my lips, I fiddled with the mare’s mane, combing my fingers through it. Separating three locks, I started to braid them.

“Saber.”

I kept braiding.

“Saber.”

Huffing, I abandoned the braid and turned back around.

Ríkr gave me a piercing stare. “I will not make this decision for you, dove.”

“But you understand the dangers better than I do,” I pointed out, hearing the note of desperation in my voice. “And you’d be taking the big risks, not me. And it’s up to you whether you owe Zak a favor for helping you against Luthyr.”

“Yet you must still decide,” he said implacably.

My teeth pinched my lower lip. I’d been afraid he’d take this stance. I wanted him to decide for us both. I didn’t want to decide. I wasn’t sure I could.

Turning my back on the fae for a second time, I rested my forehead on the post between stalls.

I didn’t give a shit about Lallakai, but she wasn’t the one asking for help. Zak was, and over the past two weeks, he’d helped me in ways I could barely quantify. Not only had he risked his life by going against Luthyr, but he’d been beside me for every step into Hell’s Gate and the painful discoveries about my parents and childhood. And he’d done all that while I was blaming him, hating him, dismissing him, and treating him like a physical and emotional punching bag.

Fuck, I was a horrible person.

On the other hand, Zak’s support over the past couple of weeks didn’t erase his past actions. He’d betrayed me and left me for dead. My understanding of what happened ten years ago had crucial gaps, but he hadn’t once denied either of those facts. Did the boy who’d shattered me deserve my help? Doing favors for the person who’d hurt me so deeply felt like a betrayal of my fifteen-year-old self and her suffering.