The Shadow House(96)

Jenny gave me a small smile. ‘I thought about it. But eventually I realised that all that stuff I’d want to be leaving behind would just come with me anyway, so what’s the point? I love this land, it’s part of who I am. I love this community. And as for the scenery … well, it’ll all change sooner or later, won’t it?’

I nodded. The construction plans for stage two of Pine Ridge were already in motion and within the year new houses would start appearing on the other side of the valley, too.

‘What about you,’ she said. ‘Are you sure?’

I looked at her. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I understand how much of an adjustment it must be for your family, collaborating with me, sharing the land. And it must feel scary to be putting all your savings into buying me out. Maybe you’re having second thoughts?’

‘No, definitely not, I’m all in.’ A gust of wind blew through my hair and I pushed the strands back with one hand. ‘And using our savings to secure homes for both me and you is really not that scary.’

In fact, it felt the very opposite of scary – more like appropriate, given how Jenny had lost her home in the first place. I’d done a little digging and my former neighbour’s story had checked out: Stuart was indeed wanted by the police for money laundering. Which meant that, in a karmic kind of way, that money belonged to Jenny. Or Renee, anyway. Criminals had taken her money and she’d lost her house, but because I’d taken money from criminals, she now had a new one: a place she’d designed herself, a home she loved. I couldn’t think of a better use for it. And if Stuart ever came looking for me, or the cash, he would find a different woman: one with friends and a mind of her own. I thought about my Tupperware container, now sitting in the pantry instead of under the laundry sink, crammed full of cookies instead of banknotes, and it made me smile.

As I did, the wind came at me again, this time tugging hard at the building designs and blowing them right out of my hand. ‘Oh!’ I gasped as three sheets of paper flew into the air and took off towards the trees like a flock of doves. ‘Oh, no!’

‘Quick, catch them,’ cried Jenny, and I chased after them, trying unsuccessfully to grab them as each sheet whirled and spun away from me as if playing a game. They cartwheeled into the woods and danced among the trees before finally coming to a stop, one on the path, one in a puddle and one flat against the rough trunk of a gigantic red cedar.

Panting hard, I snatched the papers off the ground before they could escape again, brushing off the dirt and smoothing out the creases as best I could. A clump of mud was stuck to the corner of one and I used the hem of my shirt to wipe it away, revealing the village logo. Pine Ridge. Create the life you want.

I stopped and took a moment to breathe. The forest was cool and sheltered from the breeze. Bellbirds tinkled like wind chimes, kookaburras cackled, and from somewhere deep in the undergrowth I could hear the chatter of running water. Above, the sun flashed through the gaps in the canopy and cast a shimmering pattern of light and shade on the gravelly ground.

As all around me nature did its thing, I thought about how much had happened since my arrival at Pine Ridge. The different experiences and interpretations, all mixed up together. The scattered pieces of the puzzle, and the way in which those pieces had been shoved together to make something new. The spiderweb of rumour, the snowball of gossip. The scary story in the deep, dark woods, and the light that always found a way in.

Create the life you want.

For the first time, I felt as though the life I wanted might finally be within reach. Or maybe it had always been there, just waiting for me to find it.

Either way, it was time to go home.

Clutching the runaway papers to my chest, I walked out of the forest and back to my family.





AUTHOR’S NOTE

Thank you so much for reading The Shadow House. I hope with all my heart that you enjoyed it. If you’d like to reach out and tell me what you think, please do drop me a line. I was blown away by the messages I received after the release of my first novel, The Safe Place, and the response to my author’s note was especially moving. So, with that in mind, I’d like to tell you a bit about how this book came to be.

Second books, like second albums and second children, are notoriously difficult, and this one was no exception; in fact, for a while I was completely petrified. I’d poured everything into my first book: what if I had nothing left to give? My publishers were waiting for a follow-up, but what if I couldn’t deliver? What if I couldn’t come up with an idea that worked? But then, as the readers of my first author’s note will already know, I am a bit of a worrier.

While suffering from post-natal anxiety following the birth of my second child, I worried all the time. I was trapped in a hamster wheel of fear – but fear of what, specifically, I couldn’t have said. I was so sleep deprived that everything seemed imbued with dread and menace. Nothing could be worse than this, I remember thinking one particularly awful night.

But then I had a conversation with a friend, a single mum, who told me she was going through a rough patch with her fourteen-year-old son. ‘I love him so much,’ she said, ‘but he’s changed. He used to be my best friend; now it’s like he’s possessed or something. We clash all the time. I just don’t know how to connect with him anymore.’ I thought about my own beautiful little boy, and my astonishing baby girl, trying to imagine a time when they no longer wanted to play with me, or even talk to me. Ah, I thought, my heart shuddering. That’s what could be worse: sleep deprivation and a teenager. Suddenly, I had the tiniest seed of a workable idea, or a character, at least: a woman who has to free herself from her own issues while also juggling a baby and a teenage son.