The Shadow House(70)

I turned sharply to look at her. ‘What?’

‘Well, I don’t not believe them,’ she said to me, spreading her hands. ‘The rumours, the games the kids play – I’ve always wondered if there might be some truth in them. I’ve seen things, too; I’ve heard noises, things I can’t explain. And, listening to these kids tonight, I can’t help but think they might be right.’ Her face was pinched, her eyes wide. ‘What if there is something out there?’

I gaped at her. I wanted to admit the things I’d seen, the thoughts I’d had. But I couldn’t, not in front of the kids. ‘You’re being ridiculous,’ I managed, eventually.

‘No, you’re being ridiculous,’ said Ollie, suddenly sitting up straight and glaring daggers at me. ‘At least Jenny’s listening. She’s literally the only adult who ever listens, ever!’

I laughed; I couldn’t help it. The whole conversation was ludicrous.

In one sharp movement, Violet jumped off the bed. ‘It’s not funny,’ she said. ‘It’s all real, I know it is.’ Then she pushed past me, flung open the door and ran from the room.

‘Violet, wait,’ I called, but she was too fast.

The door slammed. Our house seemed to hold its breath.

And then, back in the bedroom, Ollie wrapped both arms around his head and started to cry.

‘Oh, love.’ I went to him and, sitting on the edge of the bed, leaned across to give him a hug.

‘Don’t.’ He jerked away from me. ‘This is all your fault. I hate you.’

I felt like I’d been punched. ‘Ollie—’

‘Everywhere we go, it’s fucking shit. Something always goes wrong. You said it would be different here, but it’s not. It’s worse than anywhere.’

I reached out again but Ollie slapped my hand away. My heart felt like it was clamped between the jaws of a vice and the handle was turning, turning, turning …

‘The only thing that made it okay was her,’ he said, ‘and now I’m not allowed to see her anymore and I just feel like … I just feel …’

I wiped my own eyes. It was all too much. ‘What, Ollie? What do you feel?’

He looked at me with round, frightened eyes. ‘I feel scared, Mum. Like something really bad is going to happen.’

Then he turned onto his side and hid his face in his pillow.


‘Can I do anything to help?’ said Jenny once we were back in the living room and Kara was secured in her highchair. ‘Do you want me to stay?’

Suppressing a surge of irritation – Oh, I think you’ve done enough – I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself down. I shook my head. ‘I can handle it.’

‘Are you sure?’ There was a tremor in Jenny’s voice. ‘I don’t mean to be rude, but from what I’ve heard – and I’ve heard a lot; the walls are paper thin and I’m only upstairs – I’m not sure you’re doing such a great job of protecting your children.’

I blinked. ‘Excuse me?’

Jenny glanced down at Kara. ‘I’m sorry, but I just don’t see them getting the care they need right now.’

My eyes narrowed and I could feel my jaw working. ‘Okay, wait a second. No offence, Jenny, but I’m not about to take parenting advice from someone who isn’t even a parent, who doesn’t know a thing about me or my kids.’

‘I know enough,’ she said, baulking at my tone. ‘In fact, I think I’ve got to know your kids pretty well lately. And if they were mine, there’s absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for them.’

‘But they’re not yours, are they?’ I could feel the fury bubbling, all my pent-up anger towards every person who’d ever thought they knew better than me: all the men who thought parenting was easy, all the strangers who’d touched my pregnant belly in the supermarket, all the smug old ladies on public transport who’d informed me from a polite distance that my baby was cold, or tired, or hungry. ‘They’re mine. And I think I know what’s right for them.’

Jenny swallowed. ‘I think,’ she said quietly, ‘that you need to listen to your children. I think you need to take them seriously. And I think you need to protect them. At any cost.’

I almost lost my righteous shit. Protect them? Take them seriously? I did literally nothing else! But as my neighbour, possibly the only friend I had left at Pine Ridge, chewed her nails and stared fearfully out of the window, the wind dropped right out of my sails.

‘Because what if Ollie is right?’ Jenny whispered, her tremulous words echoing my own thoughts. ‘What if something bad is going to happen?’





ALEX





31


‘Put your shoes on, Ollie, let’s go.’

‘I’m not coming.’

‘Well, after the fuss you’ve just made, I’m not leaving you alone, so you don’t have a choice. Come on, let’s go and sort this out.’

I dragged Ollie out of his room, tucked Kara into her pram and stepped into the steamy evening air, double-locking the door behind me. Jenny followed wordlessly as if we’d agreed she would now be babysitting all three of us.

Too tired to argue, I stalked ahead, wheeling the pram down the steps and along the road towards the community hall. The thought of Layla running around the solstice party telling lies about both me and Ollie was too much. I had to confront her and put things right, but I also needed to hear the truth about Violet’s packages. Whoever was playing this insane game, I was going to find them. Fuck with me all you want, I thought, but don’t you dare fuck with my kids.