The Night Circus(84)

Lainie nods as she navigates her way around the crowded office to the chair on the other side of the desk.

“What is it that you discussed when Tara visited you in Vienna?” she asks before she has even taken her seat.

“I thought you knew,” he says without looking at her, keeping his attention on the teapot as he pours.

“We are two different people, Ethan. Just because you could never decide which one of us you were in love with does not make us interchangeable.”

He puts down the pot and prepares her tea, knowing how she takes it without having to ask.

“I asked you to marry me and you never gave me an answer,” he says as he stirs.

“You asked me after she died,” Lainie says. “How could I ever be certain that was a choice you made or one that was made for you?”

He hands her the cup of tea, resting his hand over hers as she takes it.

“I love you,” he says. “I loved her as well but it was never the same. You are as dear as family to me, all of you. More dear, in some cases.”

He returns to his chair, removing his spectacles to wipe them with his handkerchief.

“I don’t know why I wear these things,” he says, looking down at them. “I haven’t needed them for years.”

“You wear them because they suit you,” Lainie says.

“Thank you,” he says as he replaces them, watching her as she sips her tea. “That offer still stands.”

“I know,” Lainie says. “I am considering it.”

“Take your time,” Mr. Barris says. “We appear to have a great deal of it.”

Lainie nods, placing her teacup on the desk.

“Tara was always the rational, sensible one,” she says. “We balanced each other, that was one of the reasons we excelled at whatever we did. She grounded my imaginative ideas. I saw in details while she saw in scope. Not seeing the scope is why I am here and she is not. I took each element separately and never looked to see that they did not fit together properly.”

The clock ticks heavily through the pause that follows.

“I don’t want to have this conversation,” Mr. Barris says once the ticking becomes insufferable. “I didn’t want to have it with her then and I do not want to have it with you now.”

“You know what’s going on here, don’t you?” Lainie asks.

Mr. Barris straightens a pile of papers on his desk while he considers his response.

“Yes,” he says after a moment. “I do.”

“Did you tell my sister?”

“No.”

“Then tell me,” Lainie says.

“I cannot. To explain would involve breaking a trust and I am not willing to do that, not even for you.”

“How many times have you lied to me?” Lainie asks, rising from her chair.

“I have never lied,” Mr. Barris counters, standing as well. “I do not share what I am not at liberty to say. I gave my word and I intend to keep it but I have never lied to you. You never even asked me, you assumed I knew nothing.”

“Tara asked you,” Lainie says.

“Indirectly,” Mr. Barris says. “I do not think she knew what to ask and I would not have answered if she did. I was concerned about her and I suggested that she speak with Alexander if she wanted answers. I assume that was why she was at the station. I do not know if she ever spoke to him. I have not asked.”

“Alexander knows as well?” Lainie asks.

“I believe there is little, if anything, that he is ignorant about.”

Lainie sighs and returns to her chair. She picks up her cup of tea and then without taking a sip puts it down again.

Mr. Barris crosses to the other side of the desk and takes her hands in his, making sure she looks him in the eye before he speaks.

“I would tell you if I could,” he says.

“I know that, Ethan,” she says. “I do.”

She squeezes his hands softly to reassure him.

“I don’t mind this, Lainie,” Mr. Barris says. “I move my office every few years, I hire a new staff. I keep up with projects through correspondence, it is not a difficult thing to manage considering what I receive in return.”

“I understand,” she says. “Where is the circus now?”

“I’m not certain. I believe it recently left Budapest, though I do not know where it is en route to. I can find out; Friedrick will know and I owe him a telegram.”

“And how will Herr Thiessen know where the circus is headed?”

“Because Celia Bowen tells him.”

Lainie does not ask him any further questions.

Mr. Barris is relieved when she accepts the invitation to join him for dinner, and even more so when she agrees to extend her stay in Switzerland before catching up with the circus.





*


LAINIE INVITES CELIA to join her at the Pera Palace Hotel in Constantinople as soon as she reaches the city. She waits in the tea lounge, two lightly steaming, tulip-shaped glasses with matching saucers resting upon the tile table in front of her.

When Celia arrives, they greet each other warmly. Celia inquires about Lainie’s journey before they discuss the city and the hotel, including the sweeping height of the room they sit within.