The Impostor Queen (The Impostor Queen, #1)(63)

My brow furrows as I look up at him. “You brought me out here to see the sun come up?”

Anxiety flashes in Oskar’s eyes. “We don’t have to. I just think it’s rather pretty and—”

“No, it’s lovely.” It’s also completely confusing.

He searches my face. “Yes?”

“Yes.”

He grins and takes my hand, tugging me toward the boulders at a pace that requires me to jog just to keep up. When we reach them, it’s apparent that someone has cleared all the snow off them. They’re dry and smooth and waiting. Oskar plants his torch in a crack in the rock and boosts me up onto a squat boulder with a relatively flat top, then climbs up after me. We sit next to each other, our legs hanging down, facing the rising sun. I am a jangling mess of nerves and puzzlement as his hip nudges mine.

“I watch it from here, some mornings before I go hunting,” he says. “This is the best spot.”

I stare at the horizon as a line of orange seeps up from the ground and spreads itself thin over the land. At first it looks so fragile, so easy to smother or stamp out, but then a golden dome of sun rises up, relentless and unstoppable. Like magic inside a new Valtia, I think sadly. It’s a sensation I’ll never know. I didn’t expect to feel this way, but as I think of another girl in the temple, wearing the cuff of Astia, wearing the crown, I can’t help the ache. I’m glad. Relieved. But it also reminds me of everything I thought I was, and how it turned out to be a lie.

I push all of that away. It’s over now, and the people have what they need, and everything will be all right now that the true Valtia has been found—I won’t let it ruin this moment. “It’s beautiful. I’m glad you brought me out here.”

Oskar clears his throat. “I wanted to talk to you.”

My nerves ball up in my stomach like a clenched fist. “All right.”

“Yesterday morning, I . . .” He pauses and tucks a loose lock of hair behind his ear.

Stars, my face is so hot. “I know you were probably embarrassed when Freya saw us.”

“No, I wasn’t embarrassed.” Oskar’s eyes trace my cheek, and then he hesitantly follows the path with his fingers, which only makes my skin blaze hotter. He sighs as his fingertips linger. “Oh, this warmth,” he says quietly. “I woke up to the feel of it pressed against me.” His gaze drops to my lips, and my stomach does a wobbly little flip. “It was the best thing I’ve ever felt. Better than a thousand summer days.”

I can barely breathe as his finger slides lower, along my neck. “For me, too,” I whisper. Every part of me is tingling.

He leans down, touching my forehead with his. “I didn’t know what to do with the want it awakened in me. And . . . I was afraid.”

“I am too.” I’ve never been this close to anyone, not even Mim. Oskar’s lips are only a few inches away. “But I’m not scared of you.”

The corner of his mouth curves up, and then he brushes his lips over mine. They’re cool and soft and it’s over way too soon. We stare at each other. “Can I do that again?” he whispers as his fingers slide into my hair.

I nod, my nose skimming against his as I eagerly offer him my lips. My body is tight and shaking as he leans in, pressing his mouth to mine, gentle but sure. And though he is made of ice, he sets me on fire with desire and uncertainty and fear. His arm wraps around my waist, and he draws me close as our lips touch and bump and nudge and slide. His thumb strokes along my jaw as his tongue caresses mine. Every place he touches tingles with his magic. I don’t know if I’m doing it right—or if he is—but I know it feels good. I know I want more. So much more. My hand lifts to rest on his chest. His heart is beating as fast as mine, and I find it oddly reassuring.

Oskar kisses the corner of my mouth. “Stars, you are so beautiful, Elli.”

My fingers skim over his rough cheek, his stubble pricking my skin. “So are you.”

He laughs. “No one has ever said that to me.”

“But you must know.” I’ve seen Aira watching him from beneath her lashes. I’ve seen her gaze trail him as he strides out of the caverns—and she’s not the only one. “Many girls probably wish they were in my position.”

“Ah, well, they wouldn’t if they actually kissed me. I might accidentally freeze our mouths together.” He chuckles. “That actually happened to me the first time I kissed a girl.”

My stomach drops, even though he’s still smiling. “Because of your cold magic. I didn’t realize it would affect—”

He rubs the back of his neck. “If I drop my guard, the ice rises up quickly.” He grins. “But I don’t have to worry about that with you.”

My hand falls away from his chest as the hollow space in mine opens wide. “That’s convenient.” Suddenly my doubt bubbles up like Oskar’s magic, powerful and unstoppable. Did he kiss me because of who I am—or what I do for him?

His smile falters. “I didn’t mean . . .”

“It’s all right.” But my throat’s gone tight, and my eyes are stinging. I blow a shaky, slow breath from between my lips, hating that this doubt could eat my happiness so quickly. “I—I just never expected to kiss someone,” I babble. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”