The Impostor Queen (The Impostor Queen, #1)(15)

“When the magic rises within you, don’t fight it,” Kauko says, his breath sawing from his lungs, his brow sheened with sweat. “It’s seeking its new home. It won’t hurt you.”

I kneel and look down at my hands. There’s still a faint smear of red where the Valtia’s lips touched my palm. “It killed her. It tore her apart.”

“You cannot fear the magic!” Kauko urges. “Sofia was destroyed because she made a mistake.”

I think of the bandages in the crook of her arms and how drawn she looked this afternoon. “Why did you bleed her? Are you sure that didn’t make her weaker instead of stronger?”

“I had been trying to help her maintain the balance of magic in her body by draining off some of the excess,” says Kauko. “She was not the strongest Valtia we have known, and she overestimated her power today. You will be stronger. Wiser. Better.” He hesitates when I glare at him. “She was right, Saadella, when she said the stars had foretold your power. I’m not criticizing Sofia, I’m simply—”

“Call her Valtia,” I snap. Her name on his fleshy lips is a blasphemy.

His dark eyes are full of patience and pity, which makes me want to scream. And when he starts to talk about the prophecy again, the one that foretold my birth, the power I will control, I can’t take it.

“Stop.” My palms slap against the stone and my head hangs. Is this how it’s supposed to feel? The red flame mark on my leg is sending waves of numbness along my limbs, all the way to my fingertips and toes.

“It’s happening,” Aleksi whispers eagerly.

The void inside me grows, clawing at the walls of my chest, at the soft flesh of my belly. I let out a sob. “I just want her back.” I lay my forehead on the stone as the grief eats me up.

“You must welcome the magic,” says Kauko. “Open your arms to it. Stop fighting.”

“I’m not fighting.” How can I? I’m just lying here as the emptiness devours me. I’m too desolate to fight.

“You’re focused on her, and not on accepting the magic!” shouts Aleksi.

The sudden frustration in his voice chastens me. If I am to honor her, Sofia, my Valtia, then I need to accept what she’s given me. I suck in a shaky breath. My legs are folded beneath me. My face is pressed to the stone. I spread my arms, palms up. Though I never wanted to say good-bye to her, I’ve been waiting for this day for as long as I can remember. With fear—and with eagerness. Finally I will know. Finally I will be complete, what I was always meant to be. A new Elli—no. A new person. One who is powerful. And useful. And vital. I’ll gladly take what’s left of my Valtia inside me. I’ll become someone who would make her proud. “I’m ready,” I say, my whole body trembling.

Aleksi and Kauko murmur their approval.

From above us comes a deep boom, and my ears pop. Aleksi and Kauko gasp. A wave of nothingness crushes me to the stone slab, so heavy that I can’t move. It forces the air from my chest. I can’t feel my legs or arms. Terror pulses in my veins as my vision goes black. My head becomes a roaring blank space. I squeeze my eyes shut. More than anything, I wish my Valtia would appear and take my hand. I wish she would tell me I’m hers, and that everything will be all right soon.

I push the thought away. Magic. I must focus on the magic.

I lose my grip on time.

Tears drip from my cheeks, from the tip of my nose. But gradually, my breaths come a little easier. The noise in my mind fades, moment by moment. My limbs tingle and my lips buzz with numbness. When I’ve finally gathered the strength, I push myself up, my arms shaking. Kauko and I stare at each other. His eyes are shining.

“It’s done,” he says, his voice tremulous. “Aleksi, call the others.”

Aleksi disappears into the corridor, and Kauko kneels at my side. “You did well,” he says. “How do you feel?”

I look down at my body, now in possession of a magic that can sink ships. Raise crops. Heal wounds. My heart beats in my chest, and I swear I hear it echo. Hollow, I almost say. “I—I don’t know. I feel . . . all right?”

His brows tent upward in puzzlement, and then a smile splits his round face as he laughs. “?‘All right.’ You feel ‘all right.’?” He stands up slowly, shaking his head. “Only the most powerful Valtia in all the ages would say that.”

Seeing his mirth draws a weak smile to my lips. I rise to my knees but have to catch myself as dizziness overwhelms me. My legs feel like wooden blocks dangling from my torso. “Maybe not so all right,” I murmur.

“You’ll need to rest for a few days. Your dreams . . . be prepared for the dreams. The ice and fire work their will while you slumber. It is a burden the most powerful wielders must bear, but as your magic finds its balance within you, they will subside.”

“Of course. Dreams.” I rub at my temple. My head feels like it’s been stuffed with wool.

The sound of thumping footsteps precedes a group of priests, apprentices, and acolytes. They crowd into the Stone Chamber and hover in the tunnel outside, trying to get a good look at me, offering kind smiles and bows. They’re depending on me. I sit up straighter, ignoring my echoing heartbeat, my numb legs, my tingling lips. I need to look like the queen I am.

Aleksi pushes his way through the onlookers and kneels before me. “Are you ready to accept your fate?”