The Bone Shard Daughter (The Drowning Empire, #1)(67)

“You wanted to meet me?” Phalue’s voice emanated from above.

Ranami set the book aside, rose and threw her arms around Phalue’s neck. She smelled faintly of floral soap and sweat. She must have hurried here.

Phalue’s arms tightened briefly around Ranami’s waist and then she stepped away. Their embraces had been like this lately, the brief visit of a bee to a flower and nothing more.

“I have something to ask of you,” Ranami said.

Phalue crossed her arms. “Don’t you think you’ve asked enough?”

Ranami knew that tone. They were about to have a fight. Phalue was heading breakneck in that direction, and once she got going there was little that could slow her down.

Ranami tried anyway. “Have I done something to make you angry?”

“It’s not that simple. It’s not about what you’ve done and haven’t done. Yes, I’m angry, but try to see this from my viewpoint. I love you. I would move mountains for you. And, apparently, I would betray the Empire for you.”

“You were doing the right thing.”

“It’s lovely that it’s that simple for you. You take me to the farms, you show me how terribly these people live and how little they ask for – so I try to make amends. And then you take me into the very heart of the stronghold of the Shardless Few. Remember how I said I would send a letter to the Emperor telling him the Shardless Few were here? Gio told me that they intercepted my letter. I knew it wouldn’t be so simple: one task and they’d leave. Do you think he’ll be content to let me walk away from this freely? I know too much now. You’ve brought me to the den of hungry tigers.”

Ranami was speechless. She hadn’t thought of that – she’d only thought of how much she’d wanted to bring Phalue into the fold, to show the trust in her that she’d bestowed upon Ranami. “You won’t tell your father?”

Phalue pursed her lips. “No, I won’t. But you’ve split my loyalties. You’re asking me to choose. Do I choose my father, or do I choose the Shardless? And there’s you, standing very clearly with them. You know all their secrets. I love you, Ranami, but you never told me you were in this deep.”

The hurt in her voice stung more than all the kicks Ranami had received as a gutter orphan. She hadn’t been in so deep in the beginning, but when she’d gone to them for help, they’d answered. It was more than she could say for most people. And the more they’d given, the more she’d owed them in return.

“There could have been other ways. I could have convinced my father to step down. Now, if I choose my father, I lose you. If I choose you, I lose everything else. I’ve never been overly fond of my father’s rule, and I don’t agree with him, but he’s not a cruel man. He’s indulgent and lazy, and could probably use the sort of whipping my mother dispensed upon me once in a while. I’ve read a few of the books you asked me to. I know revolutions aren’t bloodless and calm. And I won’t see him hurt.”

“Help us then. Help us make this a peaceful coup.”

Phalue closed her eyes as though summoning the patience to deal with an unruly child. Then she wrapped her arms around Ranami again, and this time it felt like a true embrace. “Tell me what happens afterward.” Her breath tickled Ranami’s hair.

Ranami tried to push away but found Phalue’s grip too tight. “After?”

“Yes. After my father is deposed. Build me a dream, Ranami. Am I governor then? Do you come to the palace to live with me? Would you be a governor’s wife under these sorts of circumstances? Would the rebels allow you to? Would they allow me to?”

“I don’t think it would happen that way.”

Phalue let go. “Then what are you doing this for?”

Them together – it had never been Ranami’s end goal, not the way it was for Phalue. Ranami loved Phalue – she felt it to her very bones – but there were other things to consider. And this wasn’t something she could explain without hurting her. She knew, when she looked at Phalue, that it wasn’t the same for her. “I have to think of everyone else,” Ranami said.

“I trust you,” Phalue said, “but I don’t trust the Shardless.”

“We could use your help,” Ranami blurted out, “infiltrating the palace. We’ve set people to learn this information, but informants are not always reliable. Knowing when the guards change shift, the weaknesses in the walls—”

Phalue threw up her hands. “Think about what you’re asking of me. That’s all I want.”

Ranami drew in a deep breath, steadying her voice and her hands. This was like that crack that led to the ancient tunnels. If she wavered too long in the middle, she’d only find herself trapped. She had to either retreat or push forward. She pushed forward. “Please just trust me.”

Phalue cupped her cheeks in her hands, and Ranami felt the calluses on her palms as Phalue kissed her forehead.

“I knew you’d be trouble from the first moment I saw you,” Phalue said. But she said it with fondness, not scorn. Her fingers trailed down over Ranami’s neck, caressing her shoulders. Ranami leaned into her touch, thinking of all the nights together, curled in one another’s arms. “But this is something you’ll have to do alone. I can’t help you. I love you enough not to stop you. I see how important this is to you. Just don’t hurt my father. Promise me you won’t.”