In the Company of Wolves (SWAT, #3)(63)
She curled up on his big, comfy couch, but ignored the TV remote. She didn’t feel like watching television, and she definitely had no interest in what the news channels were saying about yesterday’s shoot-out at the loft. So instead, she leaned back into the cushions, trying furiously to figure out what she should do with the pack she had become responsible for overnight.
She barely felt capable of taking care of herself on most days, much less four other werewolves. For one horrible minute back in the SWAT operations vehicle yesterday, she’d almost considered walking away from Eric. She hadn’t wanted to do it, but being responsible for the rest of her pack meant she had to put other people’s needs ahead of her own, especially if it meant keeping them safe from Liam.
But fortunately, Sergeant Dixon, the very large and very intimidating alpha of Eric’s pack, had come up with a solution—staying with his future in-laws, Ethan and Kathryn Stone. Jayna still couldn’t believe the couple had opened up their beautiful home to people they didn’t know, but they had, and for that, she was extremely grateful.
She and Eric had talked about her pack staying at the compound instead, but quickly decided against it. Living in close proximity to seventeen extremely alpha werewolves would have made her pack jumpy as hell. And if Liam and Kos were still in Dallas, there was no way they’d find them down near College Station.
Jayna didn’t realize she’d zoned out until Eric walked into the living room carrying two plates piled high with sandwiches. He set them on the coffee table, then went back to the kitchen to grab a monster-sized bag of Doritos and two sodas. She was about to tell him that a single sandwich would have been enough, but then her stomach growled and she decided that maybe she could eat the entire plate of sandwiches.
They didn’t talk much as they ate, but that just gave Jayna more time to worry. Was Chris resting like he was supposed to? Were Megan, Moe, and Joseph sticking close to the Stones’ place like she’d asked them to? Did she have to worry about Liam or Kos finding them?
God, had her former alpha agonized over everything like this? Something told her he probably hadn’t.
Eric must have picked up on her anxiety because he frowned as he reached into the bag for another handful of Doritos. “Still worried about your pack?”
“My pack? Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds? I’m not even an alpha.”
“Aren’t you?”
“No,” she said quickly. “I’m a beta like the rest of them.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure of that. You’re eating like an alpha. You’re healing like an alpha. Your claws and fangs are longer and sharper than anyone else’s in your pack, and all of them naturally turn to you for answers when anything goes wrong.” He grinned. “Sounds like an alpha to me.”
Jayna placed her empty plate on the coffee table, then stared hard at it as she considered that. “But if I’m an alpha, why don’t I know what to do? They’re worried and scared, and they’re looking to me to tell them what we should do next, and I don’t know what to tell them.”
Eric set his plate on the table beside hers, then moved closer and put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned her weight into him, resting her head on his muscular chest and letting herself be weak for just a little while.
“You’re going to figure this out,” he said softly, kissing the top of her head and pulling her even closer. “We’re going to figure this out. We just need to find a place for you and your pack to live and work you’ll enjoy doing.”
“I don’t know if that will be enough,” she said softly. “We’ve never lived in one place more than three or four months, less if there was trouble of any kind. And even though Moe is new to the pack, running from problems is already what he’s used to doing. It’s what all of us are used to doing.”
“But it doesn’t have to be that way this time. You can stop running and let me help. We can make this work. We just have to try.”
Jayna closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the strong beat of his heart under her cheek. She wanted to believe him, but she was terrified at the thought of what would happen if he was wrong.
“But what if we can’t?” she asked. “What if we can’t find jobs or a place to live? What if the guys don’t want to stay here? You just said it. I’m supposed to be their alpha now. I’m supposed to take care of them. What if I have to leave…for them?”
He gently pulled her away from his chest so he could look at her. “If we can’t find something for your pack in Dallas, something that really works for them, or if they’re not happy here, then I’ll leave with you.”
Jayna was speechless. She knew Eric cared for her, but she hadn’t realized just how deep those feelings really were until now.
“You’d really leave your pack to be with me?” she finally managed.
Saying the words out loud made the whole idea seem even more ridiculous. Why on earth would a guy like Eric give up a job he obviously loved, a fantastic apartment, and a pack that was amazing to live like a nomad with a screwed-up werewolf like her and her band of equally screwed-up pack mates?
“Of course I would,” he said as if he was surprised she was even asking. “I don’t know how many different ways I can say this for you to believe it, but you’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. And if that means I have to leave Dallas to do that, I’ll do it without a second thought. I love you, Jayna.”