Forgotten Sins (Sin Brothers, #1)(70)

Another memory almost had her scratching at his face. “What about when I fainted the night we went to pick up the file folders I thought I’d forgotten?” She’d never fainted before—and she’d been sure she’d taken the right folders home.

He flushed a dark red. “I hid the files so we had to go back to your office, and ah, you didn’t faint.”

She’d come to lying on the sofa in her office, and Shane had been so concerned, so gentle. “You knocked me out?”

“Yes.” His eyes darkened. “I’m sorry.”

He was f*cking sorry? Rage had her almost seeing double, while hurt pounded through her entire body. “You *. Why did you marry me?” She struggled to keep her lips from trembling. “Why not just continue to screw me?”

Shane gave a short nod of his head. “Marrying you was not part of the plan. Believe me, my marriage pissed off my brothers to no end.” Emotion deepened his voice. “I wanted you, Josie. Still do. With everything I am.” He tugged her closer. Pain twisted his lips, and his eyes glimmered. “I knew I shouldn’t marry you. I knew what the danger would mean. But I convinced myself I could keep you safe.”

Such pretty words. “You lied to me. The entire time we were married.”

“Yes. I abandoned you, thinking it would keep you safe.” He looked up and shook his head, his nostrils flaring. “I didn’t know how badly it would hurt you, and I’m so sorry.” His voice lowered to guttural, his pain palpable.

The room hazed. She looked away, trying to dispel the hurt in her chest. Soothing him wasn’t her job. “I don’t believe you really wanted me. When you’d finished the job, you discarded me. Like an old coat, one that didn’t matter.”

“Not true. Jory died, and we knew there was only a short time to get information. I had to go and fast.” His grip tightened. “I didn’t think the investigation would take two years. I planned to return for you. No way could I stay away forever.”

Incredulity had her breath catching. Anger slapped pain to the floor. “Wait a minute. You get the divorce papers, head up to see me, and instead of knocking on my door with a ‘Hi honey, good to see ya,’ you bug my house?”

“Well… I don’t remember that yet, but I assume I checked out your house, found the bugs, and decided to find out what was going on.” Doubt wrinkled his forehead but was quickly smoothed out.

“So you used me as bait. In case the commander had found me.” Hurt flashed hard and bright. She couldn’t believe it.

“No. I may not remember, but no way would I ever use you as bait.” His hands tightened on her hips. “From the pictures we found in the little house, I was keeping you in my sight at all times—and I had a go-bag packed for you.”

“Is that so?” If she grew any madder, her head might blow off. “So kidnapping was a possibility.”

“Sure.”

Reality settled in her stomach like a flare of light. “No. We started on a lie, and we ended on a lie.” She met his gaze head on. Not flinching. “We’re done.”

His eyes softened. “I know I hurt you, baby. I’m sorry.”

“You can’t keep me here.”

He huffed out a low chuckle, weariness tightening his face. “You have no idea what I can do, angel. What I will do to keep you here. Keep you safe.”

“I have a pretty good idea how far you’ll stoop.” She aimed her words to cut. “Nothing would surprise me now.” Her thigh muscles bunched to leap off him. His hands pressed her immobile, and her anger flared back to the surface. “Let me go.”

Self-disgust curled his lip. “I can’t.” Heat coursed off his palms to her thighs. “Right now we need to figure out who is after your files, and I need to keep you safe.” His long fingers curled around to grip her legs.

Even now, with hurt and anger riding her hard, she longed for what might’ve been. But she’d listened to her heart long enough with Shane. She was a smart woman, and it was time to let her brain take over. “No. We’re done.”

Genuine surprise flashed in his eyes.

Her focus cleared. “You truly think I’ll let you treat me like this? That you’re so irresistible I won’t walk away?” She lowered her chin. “Watch me.” Determination straightened her shoulders. The arrogance of the man. Yes, she’d been stupid to even think about trusting him again, and she was now paying the price. But enough was enough.

“I left because I knew you were safe. Or at least I thought you were.”

“I don’t care. Anger filtered through his eyes, but she really didn’t care. “It doesn’t matter why you lied, why you left. What matters is the fact that you lied and you left. How can you not understand?”

“You love me.” His lips tightened into a straight line. “To a good woman, to a soft woman, that means everything.”

She snapped her teeth shut, almost relieved when her brain took over. When focus became easier than hurt. “I do love you, Shane.” Her frown actually made her forehead ache. “But do you really think you’re the only one able to walk away from us? You were right to leave. It’s better that way.” She blew out a breath. “I can walk away, too.”

Sympathy for him almost stopped her words. Almost. He really didn’t understand. Poor guy raised without a mother, with some idealized view of what women should be. She’d been alone her entire life. Even during her marriage. Seeing the real Shane this last week only made that truth clearer. She leaned closer, her eyes an inch from his. “I. Can. Leave. You. And I will.”