Fire Falling(25)

“It’s ... possible?” Fritz asked, finally.

“I suppose so? I only have what Aldrik said to go off of.” Vhalla’s eyes darted between them, desperate to spark some more conversation so they’d stop looking at her like she had sprouted a second head. “What does it mean?”

“I’ve only read about it.” Asking Fritz to recite things from books had the same effect as it did on Vhalla. His mind began churning once more. “Literature on Bonding is very few and far between because most people who try to create a Bond fail, and one person dies in the process. But Joining is supposedly a state of merged consciousness or awareness.”

“That sounds right.” Vhalla nodded in affirmation.

“I can’t believe he did that.” Fritz stroked the stubble on his jaw. “It’s supposed to be a risky process.”

“Risky?” Vhalla asked.

“Again, I’ve only read ... But if the Bond isn’t solid, complete, if the two people are Bonded but not compatible, or if—” He paused, censoring himself. “Well there are other things that can help or hurt it. But I’ve heard it could result in one person losing himself in the other. You end up with one being mindless, while the other goes mad with the noise in his head.”

Vhalla stared in shock and then started laughing. “Risks are something the prince has no qualms taking,” she assured them—it seemed to adequately sum up their entire relationship.

“Why did you tell us this?” Larel asked. “I can’t imagine the prince would be pleased.”

Vhalla honestly hadn’t considered that. “Because you both are my friends. I trust you, and I want you to know I do. What are friends if you cannot share your secrets with them?”

“I won’t tell a soul.” Fritz grabbed her hand, and she smiled at his kind eyes.

“You know you have my silence,” Larel affirmed with a nod.

“But you know I’m going to be asking you about it, right?” Fritz grinned his goofy toothy grin.

Vhalla couldn’t help but smile back. “I’ll answer as best I can,” Vhalla promised. “Talking about it may even be nice.”

Fritz left shortly after. He squeezed Vhalla and Larel both tightly, and Vhalla wished he could stay with them. She selfishly wanted to spend the night tucked between him and Larel. But Vhalla didn’t make any demands. At best she’d just wake him with thrashing from nightmares.





FRITZ RETURNED VHALLA’S armor the next morning, leaving Vhalla conflicted and uncertain once more. The prince was a strange creature. At times, he seemed like he worried for her above all else, like when Elecia made her cheap shot. Other times, like the entire day’s ride, it seemed as though he didn’t even want her around.

If he was trying to avoid her, then he was destined for failure. Aldrik saw her each night when they trained together and maybe that fact frustrated him, because the prince pushed his three pupils beyond tired and into levels of exhaustion that Vhalla had never known before. The second day of training was harder than the first, and the third was harder than the second. The fourth morning Vhalla was certain that she couldn’t get out of bed; it took almost being late for her to be coaxed into the saddle.

Aldrik had the sense to not pair Vhalla and Elecia together again; they were kept at other ends of the makeshift rings they worked in. Vhalla was thankful that she had the opportunity to work with Fritz, but felt sorry for Larel for having to endure the other Western woman’s jabs and sneers. If Aldrik was upset with Elecia, he didn’t show it. He still rode with her during the day and never sent her away from the training.

In all, it made Vhalla feel worse. She still remembered what Elecia had said about her birth, her questions of why Aldrik was spending any time with Vhalla. It made Vhalla doubt everything, and then she felt guilty for second-guessing Aldrik after all he had done for her. But she didn’t know how to feel, and Aldrik wasn’t helping her sort it out.

So during the day she’d taken to riding with the Golden Guard. Daniel and Craig were always welcoming, and even Prince Baldair seemed to be more amused than put off by Vhalla’s persistence around them. Raylynn was even beginning to thaw. It was an odd routine that Vhalla fell into; she wouldn’t call it peaceful, but with time everything became easier. Even her dreams had begun to lose their edge.

Or so she had thought.

A month into the march, Vhalla woke up one night shivering and shaking, despite the warming temperatures as the host grew closer to the Western Waste. Fear clawed and bit its way through her, but she had somehow not woken Larel. Vhalla quickly gulped in breaths of air. She stared down at her wrists.

The dream was just as vivid as her memories of the Night of Fire and Wind. Her mind told her she had felt these feelings before. The noises, smells, and touch were all familiar. And yet, Vhalla had never seen or done anything like it.

She’d stood in an opulent room, dark with oppressive gloom. A thunderstorm raged against the glass windows, and she’d been soaking wet. Vhalla shivered, grabbing her arms to ward against the phantom chill. And then she’d taken a knife to her own flesh.

Vhalla was looking at her forearms again.

The crimson blood that had stained pale skin and white carpeting was not what was most prominent in her memory. It was the fear, the overwhelming guilt she had felt and—most notably—when she had caught her eyes in the reflection of the blade—they had not been her eyes.