Devils & Thieves (Devils & Thieves #1)(52)

He lifted his head and gave me a smile. “I’ve been wanting to do that for about a year now.”

I smiled back, though my insides were squirming. “And?”

“Amazing,” he whispered. He cupped the back of my head and crushed his lips to mine. My thoughts flew in a thousand directions as I felt his tongue skim my bottom lip. Did I want this? Darek was so sweet, and so nice, and so hot, but for some reason, being this close to him didn’t light up my insides like being next to Crowe did. Which sucked, because if Darek was telling the truth, Crowe wasn’t the man I’d begun to believe him to be. He was more like the man everyone else thought he was, and that was a man I didn’t like all that much.

“Choose me, Jemmie,” Darek murmured against my mouth. “I want you so much.” His tongue slid between my lips, and his arms tightened around me, and all of a sudden my head was swimming with dizziness, light exploding behind my closed eyelids, my heart pattering unsteadily as my tongue captured a hint of bitterness from his last smoke. Darek sensed me swaying and lowered his face to my neck. “You feel it, don’t you?”

With the room spinning, I clutched at his shoulders to keep myself upright. “I… have to think about this. I don’t want to move too fast.”

I braced for him to resist, but his hands dropped away from me, and he kissed my forehead. As I opened my eyes, I could see my own locant magic winding around us, like I’d lost control of it in the heat of the moment. I took a step away from Darek and turned to lean against the wall. “There’s just a lot going on right now, okay?”

“Okay,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to push you. But I need you to know where I stand. I’m in love with you, Jemmie.” His voice broke over the words. “I’m tired of being alone.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “We’ll talk later, all right? I’m so glad you’re okay.”

He touched my shoulder as I inhaled the minty scent. “Later. Be careful tonight.”

“You too.”

I listened to the sound of his footsteps through the house, the click of the front door closing. I could offer to drive him back to the festival, but I needed space. I needed time. I needed to figure myself out. I dragged myself over to the bed and collapsed on it, feeling like all my plans and energy and strength had just swirled down the drain, along with my understanding of Crowe.

Alex was still missing, and that had to be the priority. Old Lady Jane was still predicting something would happen at the festival, and she’d told me I was part of it. She’d said I was a thread dangling in the wind, and she didn’t know where I’d end up, who I’d end up with.

I closed my eyes and tried to summon the will to face it all, but right then, all I really wanted was a nap.





FOURTEEN


I JERKED AWAKE WITH A START TO THE SOUND OF MY MOM coming in the front door, keys jangling. Blinking in the darkness, I pulled my clock over and peered at it. “Shit,” I whispered. It was after eight. I’d slept for four hours.

“Jemmie?”

“Yeah,” I croaked. My mom was in the doorway and flicking on the lights as I swung my legs off the bed.

“You all right?”

“I’m fine. Just needed a nap.”

She pulled the tie from her dark hair and it cascaded messily over her shoulders. “I smell like french fry grease. I’m gonna take a shower and put some dinner on. You want to stay in and watch a movie with me?”

“I was actually going to head back to the festival. We still haven’t found Alex.”

Mom’s brows drew together. “Did anyone try a locator spell?”

“We’ve tried a lot of things.” I didn’t want to get into it right now—all I could do was hope that she’d magically be there when I got back to the festival. “I’ll keep you posted.”

She nodded. “Did you catch up with Darek today?”

“Um.” I played with the frayed edge of my bedspread. “Very briefly.”

“What about Crowe?”

I sighed. “No comment. But I don’t think either thing is going anywhere. They’re both wrong for me.”

“Doesn’t always mean it won’t go anywhere,” she said, and it was to her credit that she only sounded mildly bitter.

“Mom, did you know why Dad left?”

“I knew he’d done some things he regretted and had a falling-out with Michael. But our relationship was coming apart before that. So it was really the combination of the two. I know it was hard for you.”

I shrugged one shoulder. “I wish one of you had explained it to me. I thought he left because he was disappointed in me. I know that sounds totally childish, but it made sense at the time. In some ways it still does. The thing about me he’s most interested in is magic, and whether I’m doing it.”

“He loves you, Jem. Might not always be good at showing it, but he does. Magic is the thing he thought he had in common with you. When it looked like you might be a little more like me…” She raised her arms from her sides to show off how absolutely unmagical she was, but I knew she had a bit of it in there. In fact, there was the faintest of pearlescent glows around her in this light.

“I’m not like either of you.” I had magic. And I had this other thing, the sensitivity to it. Somehow, I had to figure out how to manage both in order to do what Jane said, to play my part. “But I’m trying to figure out where I belong.”