Burning Glass (Burning Glass, #1)(109)
I remembered the lovely depths of my friend’s eyes, the sun in her aura.
I had to do this for her.
Still trembling, I rose to my feet and wiped the tears from my eyes. I brushed the nursery room’s dust from my dress and walked through the evergreen door, the midnight-blue door, and when I met the surprised looks of the guards in Anton’s chamber, I said with as much strength as I could muster, “I believe the emperor is looking for me.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
AS THE GUARDS USHERED ME INTO VALKO’S CHAMBERS—THEIR grip tight as vises, despite my willingness to come—my gaze riveted to the emperor across the room. He stood in the open doorway of his balcony. Sheer curtains wisped around him. The breeze played through his hair and made him appear gentle and handsome. Adding to the effect were his bare feet jutting out from the base of his trousers and his loose, untucked shirt. He leaned against the doorframe, his gaze lost on the city. Something in his aura was also lost, also forsaken.
The largest guard shoved me in the back and prodded me forward. I blinked as pain smarted between my shoulder blades. It was enough to return my focus to the task at hand.
I studied the emperor with new eyes, and my muscles tightened and locked around my bones. A wave of revulsion swept the length of me. I had no desire to sense Valko’s sorrow or grant him pity. He had killed Pia and arrested Tosya and Anton. He was callous. Heartless. I wouldn’t believe he could be anything more than cruel.
But of course that’s exactly what I needed to feel—that it was possible he was genuinely suffering and miserable, and that he had reason to be. Only then could I find any point of connection with him. I needed pure empathy to use my gift to persuade him to abdicate. Without that grafting branch of compassion, I had no hope of overpowering him.
“We have brought the sovereign Auraseer, Your Imperial Majesty,” the largest guard announced, and prostrated in a bow without easing his grip on my arm. His pride transferred through the sleeve of my dress and my skin, but I pushed it away. Pride was not an emotion that would help me.
Upon hearing his guard’s declaration, Valko’s gaze snapped around. His eyes brightened with longing, as if he couldn’t believe I stood before him. My heartbeat quickened and relief surged through my breast. I frowned with astonishment. Was it possible he still cared for me?
The warmth in his eyes only lasted a moment before it rapidly hardened to ice. My shoulders fell, and fear stole through my chest. His affection for me must be shattered, and I’d been counting on it to use against him.
“Leave us,” Valko told the guards.
My throat ran dry as I tried to swallow. I already dreaded being alone with him. The large guard holding me scowled with confusion at the emperor. He surely expected him to send me straightaway to the dungeons. But I knew Valko. He would privately rebuke me first. His obsessive nature required nothing less. I would be lucky if I survived his wrath to even make it to the dungeons.
“Go!” he barked at the guards.
Reluctantly, they bowed and retreated, then shut the door behind them.
I blinked at the emperor and inhaled a shaky breath. I didn’t know what to do now that we were alone together. I shouldn’t break protocol by speaking to him first, not when I sought to appear penitent. Rooted by the door, I waited for Valko to approach or permit me to advance. He did neither. He only watched me silently from the other side of the room.
As his coldness slowly subsided, heated rage began to twist and coil inside him and churned a pit of dark and molten energy building pressure to erupt. My nerve endings flared with it. My muscles spasmed and cramped. I fought not to panic as I imagined all the ways he could torture me.
“Come forward, Sonya,” he said at length, his voice strangely calm.
Heart pounding, I made my way toward his magnificent bed. I had to skirt around it to reach the balcony doors where he waited. Such a large bed could only make a person feel minuscule and inconsequential. I clung to that pitying thought and scrambled to summon more like it—anything that would help me feel the tiniest sliver of empathy toward the person who had destroyed my friends.
Valko was justified in his anger for me. Beneath it, there was surely hurt. I was someone he’d held in his closest confidence, given up alliances for, showered with praise and affection, even though I ranked far below him. Why would I betray him after all we’d shared together? Why had I protected his brother? Why side with Anton of all people—Anton, his utmost rival, the brother so many would choose over him to be ruler?
I curtsied once I reached Valko, but try as I might, the words My Lord Emperor stuck in my throat. My teeth ground together with my own anger, my own reasons for feeling betrayed. All the times Valko had professed his admiration only to bruise me later. His small kindnesses followed by stark reminders of my inferior place in his life.
“Sonya,” he said with that same false calmness as he unhitched himself from the doorframe and moved closer. His fingers skimmed the sapphire at my neck.
Every cell in my body screamed to recoil from him, but I held statuesque. His touch would be useful to me. It would heighten my awareness, help me understand what he was feeling.
“Your eyes are red,” he observed coolly. “Has it been such a terrible day?”
My brows lifted. What was he playing at? He knew I must be suffering after Pia’s death and Anton’s arrest. “Has the day been terrible for you?” I asked, and kept my voice soft and high, so as to not antagonize him. “I sensed your grief when I first entered.”