Burning Glass (Burning Glass, #1)(100)

The prince answered. His brows peaked with surprise. I shouldered past him. “What are you doing?” he asked. “The guards can see you.”

“I don’t care.” I choked on my words.

He shut the door and observed me more carefully. “What is it? What has happened?”

My grief consumed me. I trembled with my fury.

“Sonya, talk to me.” Terror was written across Anton’s face. “What has he done to you?”

“He’s a monster! I hate him! Give me a knife, and I will kill him myself!”

“Shhh.” He extended a hand toward me.

“Don’t!” Anton’s touch would only heighten his aura within me, and I couldn’t endure anyone else’s emotions right now.

He pulled back. “All right.”

I yanked at my hair. A torrent of tears released from my eyes. “She’s dead because of me!”

“Who is dead?”

“Pia.” The word came out in a whimper. A beautiful name. Melodic and pure. Light as air, bright as morning.

“What?” The prince’s energy flashed cold. He paced in a circle around me and rubbed his hand across his face. “I learned she was imprisoned, but . . . Valko executed her so quickly?”

I nodded. “She was dragged like a dog through the people’s reception. I tried to defend her.” I wiped under my nose and cried harder. “Valko wouldn’t listen to me! He’s capricious and willful and impossible.” I slammed a fist on my chest. “I have no power over him!”

Anton swallowed and blinked hard. “That isn’t true.”

“Stop!” I held up my hands to ward his words away. “I don’t deserve your faith. I’ve done nothing to merit it.”

“Sonya, please. Just breathe.” He hovered around me, unsure how to bring me any comfort when I wouldn’t allow him to touch me.

I wept with abandon and crumpled to my knees. “I destroy everyone I love. I killed Yuliya, too. I only wanted to help the starving peasants.” My fingers shook near my mouth, as if trying to trap back my darkest confession, but Anton needed to see me for what I truly was. “They hated me. They would have stopped me. I locked them in because I hated them, too.”

The prince crouched beside me. “Whom did you lock in, Sonya?” he asked gently. “What are you talking about?”

“The Auraseers.” I sobbed and rocked back and forth. “And there were others. The sestras asleep in their beds. Basil—the old caretaker at the convent. He didn’t hate me. He was kind to all of us.”

Anton listened patiently, as if sensing I had more to tell. Revealing my dark past to Valko had been so much easier in comparison to sharing it now. How aptly that marked the difference between my feelings for both brothers. Losing the prince’s good opinion would surely break my heart.

I tried to capture Anton’s ardent expression of tenderness, because after I confided the rest of my story, he would never care for me again.

“I never helped the peasants.” I tugged the black ribbon around my wrist until my fingers went numb. “The wolves chased them away. Except for one man. He suffered from madness. I brought him inside the convent and . . .” I shook my head. “There was accident. I started a fire.” Shuddering a breath, I released the worst of my confession. “The convent burned because of me! The Auraseers were trapped inside their rooms. So many people died!” My shoulders curled into my chest with my weeping. I wanted to bury myself, to hide away from what I had done. “Yuliya was already ill. She died because she felt their suffering too keenly. I may as well have held her knife.”

The prince’s eyes were as pained as I felt. The ache in his aura rent at my heart. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

I shrugged as tears streamed down my face. “You made me feel special—honorable.” I could scarcely speak past my sobbing. “It was a nice lie to believe.”

“It isn’t a lie.”

I gasped with disbelief. How did he maintain his faith in me—especially after everything I’d just told him? “Don’t you see?” My cries hardened with frustration. “I can never become anyone’s savior. I’m nothing but a curse! I brought death to my parents. I endangered the Romska. The sestras in the convent feared my unnatural ability, and they were right to. All I am is darkness!”

Anton shifted closer so I wouldn’t look away from him. “I want you to listen to me, and I want you to listen carefully. You are not a curse.” His brows lifted in earnestness. “You are a gift,” he said softly. “You are my gift. A savior to me.”

I raised my gaze to him. Tears clung to my lashes.

His brown eyes were a well of sympathy, stronger than any Auraseer’s. “Let me hold you, Sonya.”

I tensed, and my throat constricted. How long had I accused him of withholding himself when I was just as guilty of doing the same? But now that he knew the truth of me, could I really believe he still held me in regard? Could I allow him to try?

I managed a small nod.

That was all the permission he needed.

Within a moment, Anton’s warm arms surrounded me. His chin tucked over my head. At once my chest expanded and made room for the breadth of his compassion. He held my sorrow in his own, my suffering in his suffering. He held understanding.