Bloodspell (The Cruentus Curse, #1)(69)

As Victoria stood next to Charla and Gabriel watching the last of the fireworks, her eyes met Lucian's across the dance floor. He inclined his head and raised his glass in a toast. Victoria noticed that he looked distinctly less pale and felt disgusted. She didn't understand why the idea of Christian feeding didn't repel her, but looking at Lucian and knowing he had just fed, repulsed her completely. She felt like throwing up.

He watched her knowingly over the rim of his glass as he sipped his champagne, his lips red, and winked. Victoria stared back, her expression flat, and then looked away. She could swear she heard him laughing, and the sound chilled her.

All she wanted to do was to get to Christian. She was just thinking about the best way to make a graceful exit when Angie and Taylor announced that they were heading out. Charla and Gabriel exchanged a knowing look as they danced, and Victoria jumped at the opportunity to say that she would walk out with them, and catch a cab back. After waving to Charla and Gabriel, and saying goodbye to a crestfallen Wyatt, she followed Angie and Taylor out.

Victoria could feel Lucian's heavy stare boring into her back but refused to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging him. She left without a backward glance.

Outside of the building, they parted ways and Victoria waited until Angie and Taylor were out of sight before getting into the long black limousine across the street.

"Where are we going?" she asked, as she removed her mask. Then she stopped and stared at Christian. "Don't tell me you have an apartment here too?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Yes. Sorry."

Victoria laughed. "Well, I guess after a hundred odd years, it's only natural that you should collect several homes I guess."

"We could just drive around too. I know you are supposed to be staying with Angie, so I don't want it to be awkward for you."

"I doubt that anyone will be in any frame of mind tonight to worry about my whereabouts. I'm really glad that you came, Christian, although it's too bad that we didn't get to countdown the New Year together."

"We still can .." His eyes smoldered. "Five ... four ... three ... two ... one ..."

And suddenly Victoria was the recipient of the sweetest, hottest kiss, and she forgot how to breathe. The fireworks started all over again. They couldn't get enough of each other. Maybe it was because of Lucian, maybe it was because of their fight, it didn't matter. Everything disintegrated into that one moment when their lips met ... love, regret, forgiveness. It enveloped them, its intensity suffocating, until Christian carefully extricated himself.

The minutes collapsed into seconds, their raw breaths harsh in the silence. She reached forward and he flinched, his face feral as he grappled with the change that tore through him. Stricken, she looked away, her attention drawn by a couple kissing on the side of the road. She sighed, touching her lips in unconscious mimicry.

I want more ...

The thought was fleeting but cracked like a gunshot in the silence. She'd thought it aloud to him. Christian felt his heart constrict; he had known that at some point it would come to this. He moved closer, as close as his shattered senses allowed.

"I know you do," he said. "And I'm sorry. It's too dangerous. I could hurt you."

"But I know you, I know you wouldn't. You didn't before, remember?" she said. He could barely hear her, her voice was so soft. She was still staring at the couple.

Christian closed his eyes. She couldn't possibly know what she was asking. Or maybe she did.

"Tori, remember when you said you couldn't control the blood's hunger, and how it consumed you?" She nodded. "Well, that is my fear, that one day my hunger will overtake my control, and I will lose you."

"You won't," she said fiercely.

Christian smiled. "Your faith in me is humbling. Unfortunately, my faith in myself is not as strong. I could hurt you without meaning to. What's that saying? The road to hell is paved with the best intentions? I, more than anyone, know how true that is. And I won't lose you Tori, can't ..."

Victoria was silent. Chances were if he bit her, he would die, and they both knew it. It was a somber truth. Their relationship was utterly impossible! Yet even as she thought the words, she knew that there was no way she wanted to be without him.

She felt guilty for making him feel bad about something that neither of them could circumvent. It was painful and frustrating for them both but sometimes she just wanted ... well, more. She wanted the heated embrace that the couple outside had, with just their feelings for each other taking over, without having to hold back or worry about one of them killing the other. She wanted to touch him, to hold him against her, to give herself to him in every way. She wanted normal, but she wanted normal with Christian, and that was just not possible, so the only remaining option was their impossible love, because it was with him.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"It's okay, Tori. It's hard for us both."

Poignantly Victoria remembered the night at his house when he had asked the question, thinking the words he hadn't been able to say out loud. She wrapped her arms around him and felt him dip his head to gently kiss her bare shoulder.

"Stay with me, Christian," she said.

"I will."





JANUARY WAS DARK and dismal with icy frost and mountains of unending snow. The brutal wind chill of negative twenty made it impossible to venture outside except straight to class and back. On colder days, students chose to remain in the warm library, the most central building between classes, and head home when the day was done. It didn't get any better over the next month with several punishing winter storms. It was not a pleasant time.