Black Sun (Between Earth and Sky, #1)(81)

She made herself walk to the bench and sit across from him. This close, Naranpa noticed that he was missing three fingers on his right hand, two completely and one cut off at the second knuckle, and his hands themselves were riddled with burn scars, as if they had been held in a fire.

She suppressed a shudder. His eyes flickered, as if he had caught her gawking.

“Do you hate me, then?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said, gaze meeting hers, “but I understand why you left us. I would have done the same had I been given the chance.”

She closed her eyes. She had meant to come to her brother unbent, proud of her decision to get out and never look back, of her years of service to the priesthood. But she had been lying to herself, and all the shame of her abandonment overwhelmed her. “I am sorry I left you alone.”

“Alone?” He slammed a hand against the desk so hard she jumped. Whoever, or whatever, sat in the shadowy corner behind him startled, too, letting loose a small chittering cry. It made the hair on Naranpa’s neck rise. “You misunderstand, Sister. I was never alone.”

“But… didn’t they die?”

“They? You can’t even bring yourself to say their names? Do you mean your forgotten family?”

She raised her head. “They were never forgotten!”

He wagged a finger at her. “See? I knew it. I told Mama that Nara would never forget us. Off to her fancy tower, a place among the Sky Made, but she was a good girl and would never forget her family. I kept telling her that on her deathbed, in fact, as the coughs rattled through her lungs and stole her away.” His voice had grown cold. “And when a boss tossed Akel from the cliffs for skimming his winnings to pay for Mama’s medicine, I told her that again. And when that same boss showed up at our door and demanded payment, and the only thing we had to pay with was me, I told her then, too. And when that first Sky Made scion offered more cacao than we’d seen in a year for one night with me in that pleasure house, I know for a fact that I whispered that to the pillow he held against my face.”

A wave of nausea rolled over her. “You worked the pleasure houses?” Now her memories of what a beautiful boy he had been seemed sinister, tainted.

“Is that so shocking? The Maw makes all of us whores for the Sky Made.”

Is that what he thought of the priesthood? Whores for the Sky Made?

“Not always by choice, I admit,” he continued, his voice still dispassionate, as if simply catching up with an old friend. “And only until they realized that I had a taste for more violent bed play. For a while, that became my salvation, I’ll not deny it, and I served my time in houses that catered to clients of particular taste, but then I met a man who paid my debt.”

“To own you?”

“On the contrary,” Denaochi said. “To set me free.” He smiled, but it was a bitter thing, twisted and dark, and she knew for a fact that the benefactor, if that’s what he had been, was dead by Denaochi’s hand. No, this was not her sweet little brother anymore. The suffering she had left in her wake had formed him, warped him into who he was. Was this her fault? Her doing? Or would it have all happened the same with her there? Would she have been the one taken into the pleasure houses to pay Akel’s debt instead? Would she be the murderer with blood on her hands?

Her brother straightened on a deep inhale, eyelids fluttering open and closed. “My apologies. My anger makes me lose myself. I was a child then, but that was a long time ago. Nevertheless, seeing you again, after all these years…”

She bowed her head, more tears lining her eyes and her hands folded in her lap. “I was a child, too,” she whispered. “A selfish one. And I am sorry.”

He leaned back, watching her. Looked as if he might speak again, but instead clapped his hands to break the dark spell his memories had woven around them.

“But we are children no longer,” he said with another breathy laugh. “Either of us. Look what you’ve become.” He gestured expansively. “The fucking Sun Priest of Tova!”

Not anymore, she thought. She said, “And you, the most notorious crime boss in the Maw.”

“You flatter me,” he said, a smile as cold and insincere as any the Sky Made matrons had mastered twisting his mouth.

And suddenly Naranpa realized she had made a mistake seeking out her brother, as if after all this time they would know each other at all, and that he would have any sympathy for her. It was folly of the highest order. Arrogance on her part, even.

But you are here for a reason, Nara, she reminded herself. A reason bigger than your shame and discomfort with your past. She had shrunk down in her seat as if his words had been physical blows for her to dodge, but now she straightened. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

“I’ve come because I need your help.”

Denaochi steepled his fists under his chin and leaned forward. “I’m listening.”

She could feel sweat on the back of her neck, and her heart raced under his gaze, but she forced herself to keep going. “Tova is in danger. And it needs your help.”

“The city needs my help?” His voice was flat with disbelief. “I thought you said that you needed my help.”

“Yes, I need your help,” she admitted. “In order to help the city,” she added hastily. “I need you to help me help the city.”